How come I have to pay AND leave the hair when I get my hair cut?
DiceGimp has gone and fucked up again. Anybody surprised?
Me neither.
Earlier in the week, a guy at work (the guy I report to, client-wise) asked me which of the bike patrol guys was on Sunday night. I told him DiceGimp, and he shook his head.
Apparently someone had gone in to the fitness centre downstairs and plugged up the men's room toilet with paper, and then taken a big ugly crap on TOP of that, and left it.
It was found by someone on Monday morning, and they were inside the fitness centre as soon as it was open (the doors don't work with access cards until 0500, and it locks itself at 2000; it's closed over the weekends). Evil Property Manager and his ilk merely had to look at the access log to see who had gone in there before active hours. Guess what? Apparently security guards go in there! A lot! Who'da thunk it?
Tuesday morning, when DiceGimp was down there again changing out of his uniform, someone confronted him and demanded to know who he was. He gave them his name, and they said "You're not supposed to be in here, I'm going to talk to [Evil Property Manager's company] about this."
On Wednesday, the word went out: they're not allowed in the fitness centre, period. They're also not allowed on two floors of one of the buildings that houses a single company. Apparently that company is tired of its late-night or early-morning employees finding guards snoozing on the couch in their breakroom, or watching tv while drinking tea/coffee they've ransacked from the cupboards. Go fig.
That same night, I was talking to the female guard and she said how the guards' morale is down because they were given a perk (fitness centre) and then it was taken away.
I pointed out that it was never a "perk", and they they had never been given permission to go there.
Her: "But we have access!"
Me: "You have access to lots of things, none of which are yours. You might have access to an open computer, but security companies have lost contracts because a guard checked their email."
Her: "But I like to workout before I start my shift!"
Me: "No offense, but what's stopping you from working out at the gym before you go to work? There are three within five blocks that I know about, and probably more than I don't."
Her: "I just can't get myself out of the house before it's time for work."
How do you compete with that? ;)
And finally, this morning I got a call from Palooka at about 0730. It seems that Cafeteria Lady, Crazy Cougar Receptionist's old ally and general gossip monkey chewed out Palooka for not letting someone into the cafeteria. The private cafeteria, for employees only. The person he didn't let it wasn't an employee.
The person said that Cafeteria Lady was expecting her, so upon hearing that Palooka let her in and escorted her directly to CL. Once that was done, he went off on a patrol.
When he looped back through the cafeteria, Cafeteria Lady started freaking out on him, saying how he was REQUIRED to let people in, that the cafeteria was losing money, that she had permission from so-and-so, blah blah blah.
She went on and on, and got louder and louder. He was embarassed, and tried to calm her down, but she was in full self-righteous mode and wouldn't be calmed. He told her that I hadn't given him any instructions to let non-employees in, and that did the trick.
My name, rather.
Upon hearing that, she stopped berating him and said "Well! I'll get to the bottom of this!" and that was that.
Then he called me. ;)
So! I have to give a response to this. She can't be telling guards what to do, as physical security is our mandate and... managing the people that scramble eggs and arrange the pre-bought pastries are hers. We don't report to her, and we're certainly not going to do her any favours (especially after this). And since I'm sure this incident will be the spray of venom she includes with every cup of coffee she sells today, I can't just ignore it.
So if any of you have a suggestion, let's hear it! Although by the time you suggest, I'll probably have already done whatever I'm going to do, but you can see how well you know me or else how much more creative you are than me. ;)
So if you'll excuse me, I have to go get some hazardous material handling gloves, some rubber ligatures, and a smoke machine.
Me neither.
Earlier in the week, a guy at work (the guy I report to, client-wise) asked me which of the bike patrol guys was on Sunday night. I told him DiceGimp, and he shook his head.
Apparently someone had gone in to the fitness centre downstairs and plugged up the men's room toilet with paper, and then taken a big ugly crap on TOP of that, and left it.
It was found by someone on Monday morning, and they were inside the fitness centre as soon as it was open (the doors don't work with access cards until 0500, and it locks itself at 2000; it's closed over the weekends). Evil Property Manager and his ilk merely had to look at the access log to see who had gone in there before active hours. Guess what? Apparently security guards go in there! A lot! Who'da thunk it?
Tuesday morning, when DiceGimp was down there again changing out of his uniform, someone confronted him and demanded to know who he was. He gave them his name, and they said "You're not supposed to be in here, I'm going to talk to [Evil Property Manager's company] about this."
On Wednesday, the word went out: they're not allowed in the fitness centre, period. They're also not allowed on two floors of one of the buildings that houses a single company. Apparently that company is tired of its late-night or early-morning employees finding guards snoozing on the couch in their breakroom, or watching tv while drinking tea/coffee they've ransacked from the cupboards. Go fig.
That same night, I was talking to the female guard and she said how the guards' morale is down because they were given a perk (fitness centre) and then it was taken away.
I pointed out that it was never a "perk", and they they had never been given permission to go there.
Her: "But we have access!"
Me: "You have access to lots of things, none of which are yours. You might have access to an open computer, but security companies have lost contracts because a guard checked their email."
Her: "But I like to workout before I start my shift!"
Me: "No offense, but what's stopping you from working out at the gym before you go to work? There are three within five blocks that I know about, and probably more than I don't."
Her: "I just can't get myself out of the house before it's time for work."
How do you compete with that? ;)
And finally, this morning I got a call from Palooka at about 0730. It seems that Cafeteria Lady, Crazy Cougar Receptionist's old ally and general gossip monkey chewed out Palooka for not letting someone into the cafeteria. The private cafeteria, for employees only. The person he didn't let it wasn't an employee.
The person said that Cafeteria Lady was expecting her, so upon hearing that Palooka let her in and escorted her directly to CL. Once that was done, he went off on a patrol.
When he looped back through the cafeteria, Cafeteria Lady started freaking out on him, saying how he was REQUIRED to let people in, that the cafeteria was losing money, that she had permission from so-and-so, blah blah blah.
She went on and on, and got louder and louder. He was embarassed, and tried to calm her down, but she was in full self-righteous mode and wouldn't be calmed. He told her that I hadn't given him any instructions to let non-employees in, and that did the trick.
My name, rather.
Upon hearing that, she stopped berating him and said "Well! I'll get to the bottom of this!" and that was that.
Then he called me. ;)
So! I have to give a response to this. She can't be telling guards what to do, as physical security is our mandate and... managing the people that scramble eggs and arrange the pre-bought pastries are hers. We don't report to her, and we're certainly not going to do her any favours (especially after this). And since I'm sure this incident will be the spray of venom she includes with every cup of coffee she sells today, I can't just ignore it.
So if any of you have a suggestion, let's hear it! Although by the time you suggest, I'll probably have already done whatever I'm going to do, but you can see how well you know me or else how much more creative you are than me. ;)
So if you'll excuse me, I have to go get some hazardous material handling gloves, some rubber ligatures, and a smoke machine.
posted by Rimmy at 11:53
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