Two fists, beyotch!

Hee! Some twenty-two months ago, I had my first real altercation with Crazy Cougar Receptionist.

But last night, I got a bit of petty vindication. w00t!

See, last time she called Evil Property Manager up and tried to get him to pressure the client to get rid of me. But this time all the details were observed, and she got served. It went something like this:

Ring. (honestly, morel ike deedeeDOOdoo, but meh)

Rimmy: "Security, Rimmy speaking."

Other Guy: "Hi Rimmy, it's (guy from the bike patrol security company, employed by Evil Property Manager)."

Rimmy: "What can I do for you?"

Other Guy: "Do you have any employees on site? Because there's a car parked in the fire lane out front and if it's one of yours I won't have it towed. It's a (describes car)."

Whee! It's CCR's!

Rimmy: "Yes, it's one of my employees. Tell you what, since it's in your area, why don't I let you in to talk to her. You can ask her to move it, and feel free to be as rude as you like."

Other Guy: "Well, I don't know that I'll need to be rude..."

Rimmy: "Wait until you meet her. I'll come get you at the front."

Other Guy: "Okay then."

So I go and retrieve him and take him to where CCR has come back to do some of her personal Christmas nonsense. I crack the door open, and then announce "Here you go."

Normally she'd ignore me, but she looked up to see who it was and saw someone she didn't know, dressed as security.

CCR: "Hello."

Other Guy: "Hi there. I was wondering if that was your car parked out in front there?"

Her eyes tighten a bit. She remembers too. She darts a quick glance to me. I look as innocuous as possible.

CCR: "Yes?"

Other Guy: "Well, you're parked in a fire lane. Could I get you to move it out of there please?"

CCR: "You're (my company's name). You can't do anything about my car."

Bike patrol guy visibly stiffens. Her attitude and body language are openly hostile, and he wasn't expecting that. He's now realizing why I said he could be as rude as he wants.

Other Guy: "No, actually I'm the landlord's security," jerking a thumb at the patch on his shoulder, "and I have every right to ask you to move your car."

CCR looks straight ahead at her computer, visibly pissed off at being, to her, outmaneuvered. She ignores him for several seconds, while he's getting irritated at the delay. Finally she mutters "(Evil Property Management Company) is going to hear about this tomorrow."

As she starts to get up, I say "Okay" and bring the bike patrol guy outside with me. She doesn't follow very quickly, so we have a bit of time to talk outside.

Other Guy: "What a fucking bitch! Is this the one you told me about that you didn't like?"

Rimmy: "Yup. Any ideas of why?"

Other Guy: "It was all I could do not to make her cry."

Rimmy: "That would have been messy - she wears a lot of foundation and eyeliner."

At this point she comes out and gets into her car. We're about at the rear bumper and the drive is a curve. She starts to back up and manages to chuck the curb rather abruptly. We both turn to look, and her windshield is even with us. She looks pissed and mortified that she's shown such a lack of skill right in front of her two tormentors, so she switches into drive and tried to drive forward at high speed.

Unfortunately, her car is a bit lacking in acceleration so while it makes a lot of noise, she doesn't really move that fast. Nice work, loser!

I have to tell you, I was high on that for the rest of the night. Petty, but so perfect because she can't do bugger all about it! Insert much glee.