Gump sat alone on a bench in the park, "My name is Forrest" he casually remarked...

The other night, Polish guy came to visit us at about 0500. He was as full of big talk as ever, but I have to admit that he did manage to stay awake the entire time he was there. ;)

And the night after that, I took over from the FNG. He's notorious for doing jack squat - no patrols, sleeping the entire time, and making a huge mess.

So I asked him "Did you close all the blinds?"

"Yeah man, that shit's all done."

Forty-one desks I had to climb on to close blinds. Ugh.

I know it sounds like no big deal, but I bang my knees and put dirty shoeprints on people's papers six days a week - it would be nice if the people that work on my day off could do it once.

So the following night, when I came in and relieved him (he's taking over one of the Sleeper's shifts while the Sleeper is on vacation) I told him that I could see lights on all over the building, and blinds open, and that I wouldn't take over the shift from him until he tightened that crap up.

So he did. Sort of.

I went and fixed the rest - about three dozen doors were unlocked, the chained doors were chained so loosely that I could slip through the gap, lights on all over the place (leaving lights on costs a large place lots and lots of money each day).

Plus he'd left a mess in the cafeteria. Bastard.

Remember in my last entry I said how the property manager had heard me on Friday morning saying that he needed a hug?

The bike patrol guy who was on that day told me since then that the property manager cornered him in the elevator when he was taking his report up and asked if I came out there often, and that I wasn't even supposed to be out there, and that I'd been warned twice about it.

Also, he was warned that he shouldn't talk to me as the last bike patrol guy had been removed for that.

"Oh, and by the way - don't tell him I said all this."

Apparently the property manager doesn't know that this bike patrol guy and I have known each other since October - so he knows what's really going on, and now so do I. Nice try, loser.

On a totally different note, do you know what's hard?

People in long term or permanent relationships that don't feel the same way about each other.

You're in something for the long haul even if you never see each other again, as the relationship is still there, but one feels one way and the other feels another.

It's probably even harder if you see each other every day.

Ah well, sometimes you've just got to let that mosquito bite stay unscratched. ;)

Hugs are good, even for losers

Laugh Out Loud news first, then the ramble:

So that property manager, what's his major stated beef?

Right, that I'm in the front lobby.

So, on Friday I was out in the front lobby (waiting for the temporary receptionist, but that's not important) and talking to the bike patrol guy. The mail room guy from my site comes out and is talking to us as well. It's about 0730.

The two of them started teasing me with "What if (property manager) sees you out here? He'll get you in trouble!"

To which I replied "Ah, all (property manager) needs is a hug."

Suddenly, I was struck with the urge to turn around, and see if you can guess who was standing not five meters behind me?

Murphy must be laughing his ass off. :P

Not a word was spoken of course, and the mail room guy started talking loudly to me about unrelated stuff, vainly hoping to misdirect how things must have seemed.

I'm sure there's another irate email about me sitting in someone's inbox. Sigh.

Also, the other Indian guy who does bike patrol is kind of ignorant. Not in a rude way, but he grew up poor in a small village and doesn't really have any idea of the world at large.

But he's been reading lots since he got here (one year ago, or a bit less it seems). And that's good.

But unfortunately he only reads stuff from one guy. Religion, philosophy, psychology, economics, science, anthropology... all from the same guy.

And he's fallen into the cult of personality. The guy is bunk. I know, because I read some of his stuff. And listened to what this guy has to say. Ugh.

So he likes to quote at me from this book, at great length, and the other night he was reading a story from it that was ripped right from the Christian bible.

Except that this guy made a point of stopping many times during the narrative to tell me that in this version there was much more detail than in the biblical version.

"No dude, I've read the bible. Grew up going to Sunday school too. It's the same."

"No, I don't think the bible has such detailed descriptions. Why would it mention the first rays of dawn on Jesus' face?"

"Because dawn is symbolic of new beginnings, and holy people are always said to be "illuminated". The east (where the sun rises) is important too. This is all right from the bible, it's not enhanced by your hero, but go on."

I realize I sounded like a dick just there, but I'm compressing about half an hour of conversation. :P

Anyway, he goes on and on and I keep telling him this is just a standard bible story (it was Jesus meeting Peter, although it doesn't mention Peter in this version) and finally he starts asking if I know who Friedrich Nietzsche was.

I said "Sure, he was this German nutball a couple of hundred years ago that wrote some incredible essays and expounded some philosophy."

He said "This guy (his hero) mentions him too. He quotes lots of different people."

So after he goes on and on about this guy (clearly starstruck, as he has been for some months now) and explaining how this guy is just like Jesus (he knows it's true, because it says so in his book), I ask him a question to which I don't really expect an answer, but to which I want to make a little speech to see how this guy thinks. I'm going to give an answer from the book Ishmael, by Daniel Quinn.

So I ask him "You know the creation story for many cultures, right? The world is created, and through some divine-esque agency trees and insects and fish and plants and animals are made, and finally humans arrive on the scene."

He says "In Hindu (he always counters with Hindu stories, and he always makes a point of mentioning how Hindu is the oldest religion, and how everything else in the world was "stolen" from Hindu. I should mention he's not Hindu himself, but Sikh) they say that ..."

"I know, but just hear the story out, okay?"

"Okay."

"And while they live in luxury, something is forbidden the first people, and they eventually go for it, and get the shaft. Like the fruit from the Tree of All Knowledge, Good and Evil in the Christian bible."

"So my question to you is, why would the creator create something, put it smack dab next to where the people were going to be, and then make it forbidden?"

"God is considered a father, right? He did it that way because the fastest way for a parent to get their kids to do something is to make it forbidden."

So I said "Why didn't he just order them to eat it if that's what he wanted? They would have obeyed him."

"My way makes more sense."

"Okay, let me tell you a story."

WARNING - This will be especially long

One day the gods were considering the administration of the world in the ordinary way, and one of them said, "Here's a spot I've been thinking about for a while - a wide, pleasant savannah. Let's send a great multitude of locusts into this land. Then the fire of life will grow prodigiously in them and in the birds and lizards that will feed on them, and that will be very fine."

The others thought about this for a while, then one said, "It's certainly true that, if we send the locusts into this land, the fire of life will blaze in them and in the creatures that feed on them - but at the expense of all the other creatures that live there." The others asked him what his point was, and he went on. "Surely it would be a great crime to deprive all these other creatures of the fire of life so that the locusts and the birds and the lizards can flourish for a time. For the locusts will strip the land bare, and the deer and the gazelles and the goats and the rabbits will go hungry and die. And with the disappearance of the game, the lions and the wolves and the foxes will soon be dying too. Won't they curse us then and call us criminals for favouring the locusts and the birds and the lizards over them?"

Now the gods had to scratch their heads over this, because they'd never looked at matters in this particular light before. But finally one of them said, "I don't see that this presents any great problem. We simply won't do it. We won't raise a multitude of locusts to send into this land, then things will go on as before, and no one will have any reason to curse us."

Most of the gods thought this made sense, but one of them disagreed. "Surely this would be as great a crime as the other, " he said. "For don't the locusts and the birds and the lizards live in our hands as well as the rest? Is it never to be their time to flourish greatly, as others do?"

While the gods were debating this point, a fox came out to hunt, and they said, "Let's send the fox a quail for its life." But these words were hardly spoken when one of them said, "Surely it would be a crime to let the fox live at the quail's expense. The quail has its life that we gave it and lives in our hands. It would be infamous to send it into the jaws of the fox!"

Then another said, "Look here! The quail is stalking a grasshopper! If we don't give the quail to the fox, then the quail will eat the grasshopper. Doesn't the grasshopper have its life that we gave it and doesn't it live in our hands as truly as the quail? Surely it would be a crime not to give the quail to the fox, so that the grasshopper may live."

Well, as you can imagine, the gods groaned heavily over this and didn't know what to do. And while they were wrangling over it, spring came, and the snow waters of the mountains began to swell the streams, and one of them said, "Surely it would be a crime to let these waters flood the land, for countless creatures are bound to be carried off to their deaths." But then another said, "Surely it would be a crime not to let these waters flood the land, for without them the ponds and marshes will dry up, and all the creatures that live in them will die." And once more the gods were thrown into confusion.

Finally one of them had what seemed to be a new though. "It's clear that any action we take will be good for some and evil for others, so let's take no action at all. Then none of the creatures that live in our hands can call us criminals."

"Nonsense," another snapped. "If we take no action at all, this will also be good for some and evil for others, won't it? The creatures that live in our hands will say, `Look, we suffer, and the gods do nothing!'"

And while the gods bickered among themselves, the locusts swarmed over the savannah, and the locusts and the birds and the lizards praised the gods while the game and the predators died cursing the gods. And because the gods had taken no action in the matter, the quail lived, and the fox went hungry to its hole cursing the gods. And because the quail lived, it ate the grasshopper, and the grasshopper died cursing the gods. And because in the end the gods decided to stem the flood of the spring waters, the ponds and the marshed dried up, and all the thousands of creatures that lived in them died cursing the gods.

And hearing all these curses, the gods groaned. "We've made the garden a place of terror, and all that live in it hate us as tyrants and criminals. And they're right to do this, because by action of inaction we send them good one day and evil the next without knowing what we should do. The savanna stripped by the locusts rings with curses, and we have no answer to make. The fox and the grasshopper curse us because we let the quail live, and we have no answer to make. Surely the whole world must curse the day we made it, for we are criminals who send good and evil by turns, knowing even as we do it that we don't know what ought to be done."

Well, the gods were sinking right into the slough of despond when one of them looked up and said, "Say, didn't we make for the garden a certain tree whose fruit is the knowledge of good and evil?"

"Yes," cried the others. "Let's find that tree and eat of it and see what this knowledge is." And when the gods had found this tree and had tasted its fruit, their eyes were opened, and they said, "Now indeed we have the knowledge we need to tend the garden without becoming criminals and without earning the curses of all who live in our hands."

And as they were talking this way, a lion went out to hunt, and the gods said to themselves, "Today is the lion's day to go hungry, and the deer it would have taken may live another day." And so the lion missed its kill, and as it was returning hungry to its den it began to curse the gods. But they said, "Be at peace, for we know how to rule the world, and today is your day to go hungry." And the lion was at peace.

And the next day the lion went out to hunt, and the gods sent it the deer they had spared the day before. And as the deer felt the lion's jaws on its neck, it began to curse the gods. But they said, "Be at peace, for we know how to rule the world, and today is your day to die just as yesterday was your day to live." And the deer was at peace.

Then the gods said to themselves, "Certainly the knowledge of good and evil is a powerful knowledge, for it enables us to rule the world without becoming criminals. If we had yesterday sent the lion away hungry without this knowledge, then indeed it would have been a crime. And if we had today sent the deer into the lion's jaws without this knowledge, then indeed this too would have been a crime. But with this knowledge we have done both of these things, one seemingly opposed to the other, and have committed no crime."

Now it happened that one of the gods was away on an errand when the others were eating at the tree of knowledge, and when he returned and heard what the gods had done in the matter of the lion and the deer, he said, "In doing these two things you have surely committed a crime in one instance or the other, for these two things are opposed, and one must have been right to do, and the other wrong. If it was good for the lion to go hungry on the first day, then it was evil to send it the deer on the second. Or if it was good to send it the deer on the second day, then it was evil to send it away hungry on the first."

The others nodded and said, "Yes, this is just the way we would have reasoned before we ate of this tree of knowledge."

"What knowledge is this?" the god asked, noticing the tree for the first time.

"Taste its fruit," they told him. "Then you'll know exactly what knowledge it is."

So the god tasted, and his eyes were opened. "Yes, I see," he said. "This is indeed the proper knowledge of the gods: the knowledge of who shall live and who shall die."


------- intermission while I stretch my fingers and get a drink -------


When the gods saw that Adam was awakening, they said to themselves, "Now here is a creature so like us that he might almost be one of our company. What span of life and what destiny shall we fashion for him?"

One of them said, "He is so fair, let's give him life for the lifetime of this planet. In the days of his childhood let's care for him as we care for all others in the garden, so that he learns the sweetness of living in our hands. But in adolescence he will surely begin to realize that he's capable of much more than other creatures and will become restless in our care. Shall we then lead him to the other tree in the garden, the Tree of Life?"

But another said, "To lead Adam like a child to the Tree of Life before he had even begun to seek it for himself would deprive him of a greate undertaking by which he may gain an important wisdom and prove his mettle to himself. As we would give him the care he needs as a child, let's give him the quest he needs as an adolescent. Let's make the quest for the Tree of Life the occupation of his adolescence. In this way he'll discover for himself how he may have life for the lifetime of this planet."

The others agreed with this plan, but one said, "We should take note that this might well be a long and baffling quest for Adam. Youth is impatient, and after a few thousand years of searching, he might despair of finding the Tree of Life. If this should happen, he might be tempted to eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil instead."

"Nonsense," the others replied. "You konw very well that the fruit of this tree nourishes only the gods. It can no more nourish Adam than the grasses of the oxen. He might take it into his mouth and swallow it, but it would pass through his body without benefit. Surely you don't imagine that he might actually gain our knowledge by eating of this tree?"

"Of course not," the other replied. "The danger is not that he would gain our knowledge but rather that he might imagine that he'd gained it. Having tasted the fruit of this tree, he might say to himself, `I have eaten at the gods' own tree of knowledge and therefore know as well as they how to rule the world. I may do as I will do.'"

"This is absurd," said the other gods. "How could Adam ever be so foolish as to imagine that he had the knowledge that enables us to govern the world and do what we will do? None of our creatures will ever be master of the knowledge of who shall live and who shall die. This knowledge is ours alone, and if Adam should grow in wisdom till the very eclipse of the universe, it would be as far beyond him as it is right now."

But the other was not disconcerted by this argument. "If Adam should eat of our tree," he persistsed, "there's no telling how he might decieve himself. Not knowing the truth, he might say to himself, `Whatever I can justify doing is good and whatever I cannot justify doing is evil.'"

But the others scoffed at this, saying, "This is not the knowledge of good and evil."

"Of course it's not," the other replied, "but howwould Adam know this?"

The others shrugged. "Perhaps in childhood Adam might believe he was wise enough to rule the world, but what of it? Such arrogant foolishness would pass with maturity."

"Ah," said the other, "but possessed of this arrogant foolishness, would Adam survive into maturity? Believeing himself our equal, he would be capable of anything. In his arrogance, he might look around the garden and say to himself, `This is all wrong. Why should I have to share the fire of life with all these creatures? Look here, the lions and the worlves and the foxes take the game I would have for myself. This is evil. I will kill all these creatures, and this will be good. And look here, the rabbits and the grasshoppers and the sparrows take the fruits of the land that I would have for myself. This is evil. I will kill all these creatures and this will be good. And look here, the gods have set a limit on my growth just as they've set a limit on the growth of all others. This is evil. I will grow without limit, taking all the fire of life that flows through this garden into myself, and that will be good.' Tell me - if this should happen, how long would Adam live before he had devoured the entire world?"

"If this should happen," the others said, "Adam would devour the world in a single day, and at the end of that day he would devour himself."

"Just so," the other said, "unless he managed to escape from this world. Then he would devour the entire universe as he had devoured the world. But even so he would inevitably end by devouring himself, as anything must that grows without limit."

"This would indeed be a terrible end for Adam," another said. "But might he not come to the same end even without having eaten at the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil? Might he not be tempted by his yearning for growth to take the fire of life into his own hands even without deluding himself that this was good?"

"He might," the others agreed. "But what would be the result? He would become a criminal, an outlaw, a thief of life, and a murderer of the creatures around him. Without the delusion that what he was doing was good - and therefore to be done at any cost - he would soon weary of the outlaw's life. Indeed this is bound to happen during his quest for the Tree of Life. But if he should eat of the tree of our knowledge, then he will shrug off his weariness. He will say, `What does it matter that I'm weary of living as a murderer of all the life around me? I know good and evil, and this way of living is good. Therefore I must live this way even though I'm weary unto death, even though I destroy the world and even myself. The gods wrote in the world a law for all to follow, but it cannot apply to me because I'm their equal. Therefore I will live outside this law and grow without limit. To be limited is evil. I will steal the fire of life from the hands of the gods and heap it up for my growth, and that will be good. I will destroy those kinds that do not serve my growth, and that will be good. I will wrest the garden from the hands of the gods and order it anew so that it serves only my growth, and that will be good. And because these things are good, they must be done at any cost. It may be that I'll destroy the garden and make a ruin of it. If may be that my progeny will teem over the earth like locusts, stripping it bare, until they drown in their own filth and hate the very sight of one another and go mad. Still they must go on, because to grow without limit is good and to accept the limits of the law is evil. And if any say, "Let's put off the burders of the criminal life and live in the hands of the gods once again," I will kill them, for what they say is evil. And if any say, "Let's turn aside from our misery and serach for that other tree," I will kill them, for what they say is evil. And when at last all the garden has been subjugated to my use and all kinds that do not serve my growth have been cast aside and all the fire of life in the world flows through my progeny, still I must grow. And to the people of this land I will say, "Grow, for this is good," and they will grow. And to the people of the next land I will say, "Grow, for this is good," and they will grow. And when they can grow no more, the people of this land will fall upon the people of the next to murder them, so that they may grow still more. And if the groans of my progeny fill the air throughout the world, I will say to them, "Your sufferings must be borne, for you suffer in the cause of good. See how great we have become! Wielding the knowledge of good and evil, we have made ourselves the masters of the world, and the gods have no power over use. Though your groans fill the air, isn't it sweeter to live in our own hands than in the hands of the gods?"'"

And when the gods heard all this, they saw that, of all the trees in the garden, only the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil could destroy Adam. And so they said to him, "You may eat of every tree in the garden save the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, for on the day you eat of that tree you will certainly die."


I always thought this was a great story. But the other guy wasn't impressed. He said that such things are unimportant, told me a joke about a fat girl in a river near a village, and left to talk on the phone while he did his patrol. :)

Lex Luthor he ain't

The origin of the Romanian's hate for China, as told to me by a slightly insane Romanian:

However, before we get to that, let me tell you a smaller story from that same night to illustrate the state of mind of the Romanian that told me about China.

Myself, the Romanian, and this young temporary bike patrol guy were sitting in the lobby at around 0430. The Romanian was going off on a rant about women (he's incredibly bitter about them) and I interjected to say "Yeah, but on the first day that Indian Guy met you, you told him that the first thing women ask about is what kind of car you drive, and if you don't have a good car you'll never have a woman."

"It's true man!" he says.

I raise my hand and say I haven't found that to be the case. Then I look over at the temp guy and he says "I have a car now, but I didn't when I got my girlfriend."

"So Romanian, what does that do to your theory? Two out of three instances seem to go counter to your theory."

"Those are all personal experiences. There are fifty million other examples that prove my theory. Let me explain something to you..."

Uh oh, these always go like a freight train loaded in sheet metal rolling sideways down an embankment.

"Two hundred fifty million years ago dinosaurs ruled the world, right? Until one hundred ten million years ago they all died off. That's one hundred forty millions years worth of rule by the dinosaurs. Compare that to a few thousand years of human beings." Then he sat back with a satisfied smile.

I waited a few beats, but he seemed to be done. The temp guy and I met each other's eyes for a moment...

"Uh, we were talking about how you think you need a good car if you ever want a woman to so much as talk to you. How did you get off topic to dinosaurs?"

"Listen to me, man! Two hundred and fifty million years ago..."

Repeat ad nauseum.

So, why he appears to hate China:

At my site, many of the employees don't like my S/S. And in the past month or so, they've given him a nickname: Barney. As in Barney Fife, from the Andy Griffith Show.

Of course, nobody tells him this. ;)

Anyway, I was trying to explain the origin of this to the Romanian since they didn't get the sage of Mayberry where he grew up.

But as I was describing the show, I said it was in black and white. And that set him off.

"Man, every show when I was growing up was in black and white!"

He's approximately 37. Even the Brady Bunch was in colour.

"Dude, you only thought that way because of the Flintstone level of technology in Romania. Using wooly mammoths for vacuum cleaners and such."

"No, listen to me! What happened is that Romania had one of the best colour television factories in the world! And the fucking Communists in the government made a deal with China to sell them every television the factory made, so there was none left for the Romanians, in our own country!"

"So people had to buy televisions from Germany at four times the cost, and so there were very few colour televisions. Fucking China! It's all their fault!"

So there you have it. The seed of hate is planted in the fertile soil of a bugshit-crazy mind. If he wasn't so apathetic about life, we might have the makings of a Marvel supervillain here. :)

On a totally different note, I'm a romantic.

I've always talked in my sleep - enough different people have told me this. The first time I ever slept over at a friend's house, I thought everything went well. I woke up a bit before everybody else, so I went out into the family room to watch some tv.

When the rest of them awoke, they were all giving me the eye and asking if I was okay. Especially the mom.

I said "Yes, why?"

"Oh, because you were screaming in your sleep last night."

Gee, what must they have thought about my home life? I couldn't have been older than eight at the most.

As years passed, I learned that I'd vocally relive experiences from work, speak in tongues... even howl like a demented bear.

And most recently? I apparently rolled over, put an arm around the pillow that was laying next to me, kissed it, and said "I love you." Awwwwww

Well, I guess the secret is out - and I'm proud to be able to say that I love something that's given me such support and comfort. And talk about always wanting to go to bed! Rrrrrrrrooooowwwwrrrrrr!

If you're going to jaywalk anyway, why press the button? Meathead!

Into this wild abyss,
The womb of nature and perhaps her grave,
Of neither sea, nor shore, nor air, nor fire,
But all these in their pregnant causes mixed
Confusedly, and which thus must ever fight,
Unless the almighty maker then ordain
His dark marterials to create more worlds,
Into this wild abyss the wary fiend
Stood on the brink of hell and looked a while,
Pondering his voyage ...

- John Milton, Paradise Lost, Book II

Hey look, a blog! I wonder how to do this... :P

It's strange, it's like I have a constant source of stuff going on, but I don't get to blog it. Time seems very short these days, and the amount of time I actually spend on the computer is a fraction of what it was before. Not that I'm complaining of course...

The title of this blog was something that someone actually said to me the other week. I'd come to a T intersection at around 2300 and hit the cross button. And when the light turned yellow I started to walk across.

And I managed to get all the way across before the light turned red. I'm a fast walker, so sue me.

And one of the cars that had stopped yelled the title out at me. I thought I was on an episode of All In the Family, and I was Archie's Polish son-in-law. :P

So I shouted back "Just to inconvenience you, asshole. Why don't you go home and sober up?"

Hmph.

Finished Half-Life 2 while I've been in stealth blog mode. Fun to play, lots of interesting stuff... but it must be deliberate on their part that the endings to their games suck so badly. I didn't even get to see Xen or the borderworlds! Bastards!

And... why does my sniping crossbow fire red-hot rebar?

Work.

I actually got two days off this past weekend, and it was fantastic! I'm back on to six days (or maybe more) for a few weeks since the Sleeper is on vacation (want to bet he stays up 24/7 on it?) but after that I think I'm down to five days permanently. Short of whatever extra work I can scrounge up.

But you remember the email that the property manager sent to the person at the site that hired my company? About me standing in the lobby and greeting people? Read what I found when I went in after my weekend:

From: (Property manager)
Sent: Friday, March 11, 2005 9:00 AM
To: (Guy who hired my company)
Subject: Security Guard

(Guy who hired my company),

As you may or may not known, (property management company) advised (bike patrol guys' company) to replace the morning bike patrol following the problems we had with the (my site) security guard.

It was my understanding that the (my site) guard was going to be reminded of the scope of his duties and that he was to remain within (my site) premises and not provide a distraction to the bike patrol.

This morning at approx. 7:30 am I observed the (my site) guard once again standing in the main lobby, carry on an animated conversation with the new bike patrol. It did not appear they were discussing a security issue.

(Guy who hired my company), I did my part last time and replaced the bike patrol who was clearly not doing his job properly. Could I ask the same of (my site) and have your guard replaced by someone who will follow instructions and not be a hinderance to other guards trying to do their job?

Please call to discuss further.

(Property manager)


Well spank my ass and call me Charlie!

I let my S/S handle talking to the guy who hired us last time, but as I'm less sure of him now, it prompted me to scribble up a little note to the guy myself.

It wasn't the best written thing I've ever produced, but being irked in the middle of the night does that to your writing style. Plus my style sucks anyway. Enjoy:

(Guy who hired my company),

I've just read the latest bit of correspondance from (property manager), and would like to say a few things. To address him one paragraph at a time:

1) (Property management company) did not advise (bike patrol guys' company) to replace the morning bike patrol, (property manager) did. And the reason the guard received was that (property manager) had complained about the guard's injured foot and ankle and said it must be impossible for him to do his patrol in such a state. This coming from the guard's own mouth, the day he received this news.

2) Not that (my site)'s business is any of (property manager)'s concern, but since March 1 2005 many of the PriceWaterhouseCooper auditor's cards no longer work. And even for those with working cards, they don't all have keys to the rooms they use.

I can't issue them cards or keys, but I can take them to where they're supposed to be to do their work. And since I know the approximate times that those who require such services arrive, and since reception is closed and the appropriate Human Resources staff often haven't arrived yet, I sometimes meet them in the lobby and escort them up.

As for the "provide a distraction" comment, all I can say is that all of the guards, both (my company) and (bike patrol guys' company), are adults. This is a comment more suitable for eight-year-olds in school.

3) I observed (property manager) observing us. I even pointed him out to the guard as he didn't know who he was. And he's not the new guard, he's the filler guard. He's already taken a different assignment and most likely won't be seen here again.

As for the "animated conversation", the guard was filling out some paperwork and asked me for one of the building codes. I supplied it to him. He then described his new assignment to me. Our conversation ended with him remarking on how nice the (my site) employees semmed to be, and then my PWC people arrived and I had to leave.

4) I don't take instructions from (property manager). And if a (bike patrol guys' company) employee is not doing their job properly, it has nothing to do with me. In my opinion, (property manager) is greatly overstepping his mandate as a property manager by attempting to give you unsolicited advice on (my site)' outside contractors.

Now for some supplementary information you may not be aware of.

One of the (bike patrol guys' company) guards has quit during all of this. Partly because of this (property manager) nonsense, and partly from frustration at a lack of general logistical support from (bike patrol guys' company). He's since applied to (my company).

Under the terms security guards are licensed by the province, if you tell me that the lobby is off-limits (and how do I cross to get to the office I need to patrol?) and I respond to a problem there, I can be terminated without notice and no severance pay.

Meaning, if (property manager) has his way, if I see you getting stabbed in front of reception, it will cost me my job if I try to help you. Don't think that it's escaped the notice of all the (bike patrol guys' company) guards who work here that their $9.00/hour jobs have needless been made a little more dangerous.

No, there have been no stabbings, but we have had to attend to violent situations in the past.

The vice president of (property management company) has expressed admiration to us personally that our two companies work in harmony together to provide better overall security. He also wanted to make sure that both sets of guards could communicate with each other, and was pleased to learn that we can and do keep in contact.

He also gave me his card and told me he was available if I ever need him. Is this such a time? With (property manager) seeming to have a grudge against me for no apparent reason (we've never spoken, he and I) and asking the (bike patrol guys' company) guards about me, and emailing you asking for me to be replaced, I wonder.

When I started here, I only did three of the weekday morning shifts. There's a reason I now do all five (and a sixth day on the weekend).

Ask a random sampling of your employees (those who work late, or those who come in early) about me. Get them to gauge me.

Check the logs for the use of my key at the magnetic locks and compare them to my daily reports.

And should you say the word, I can have all of the (bike patrol guys' company) employees who have worked this site (both present and past) contact you and offer their observations of me during the shifts we've worked together.

In short, I feel I do my job, see to (my site)'s needs, am liked, and don't need (property manager)'s childish vendetta.

I'm available anytime you need/want to contact me.

Rimmy


Well, this was long and disappointed. Next time I'll tell you of the origin of the Romanian's hate for China. ;)

Wake up from a coma and everything's the same

Ah, what a week!

And for all that, I don't even really have much more to say than usual. :P

Work has been fun. Polish guy? Gone. Removed from the site. We all knew it three days before he did too - we had been calling him to find out what happened, and when we finally got hold of him (1.5 hours before he would have started at our site, if he'd still be assigned there), he had no idea that he wasn't working there anymore!

What a company.

Turns out that he was removed at the hands of that property manager (natch) for a combination of limping after being at a tournament (odd how the limp got worse when he thought someone was watching though) and the unforgiveable sin of talking to me.

So he's been replaced by a guy who substituted for the Romanian guy back in October when he went home to sit in his mom's apartment and eat her food.

This guy is fun, but strange. But rarely boring. :)

But for the shift of the first guy that quit the bike patrols, that company is having trouble finding a replacement. Why? Well, nobody in their right mind does bike patrol on purpose.

That, and most of the sites that have bike patrol are parkades where you are in a small easy area and tend to pay $11/hour. This site has a much larger area and pays $9/hour AND is a graveyard shift. Ah well, not my problem of course. ;)

Monday night when I went into work, my S/S was holding a form he wanted me to fill out. It was a waiver so that no matter how many hours I worked over 8 in a day, or over 40 in a week, I'd accept it as straight time and not overtime.

"If you don't sign it, I'll just have to have (FNG) pick up the shifts you're already doing, since I don't have the budget to pay you overtime."

"Er, okay..."

Funny, I've been working these extra hours for nigh on three months now. Where did this come from? Of course, I wasn't going to sign.

I stayed a bit late talking to the temporary receptionist the following morning, and then decided to go into the office to see about why they screwed up my last two cheques.

After a short wait, I got to see the secondary payroll guy, and primary scheduler.

And, once again, I was impressed at the mental faculties of our management staff. In the lobby, with no papers or computer, from my name alone (we've never met, and have a thousand employees here in Vancouver alone) he knew who I was, where I worked, who my S/S is, and the hours I work. Creepy.

So we went back to his office and I outlined the problem. He sucked his teeth as he pulled up my file, and said "I remember your S/S calling me about five weeks ago and telling me you'd signed the waiver for overtime."

I told him "I only just saw the waiver for the first time last night, and I did haven't signed it."

"Wait, you haven't signed it?"

"No way!"

"Well, that's the problem then. Here, let me just delete that from your file. You know, even if you'd picked up extra work doing a special for us, we wouldn't have payed you OT because of that."

"I see."

"Now I'll comp you for the hours of OT you should have been paid previously. I don't think it'll show up on the next cheque since we're in the middle of payroll right not and you might be already done, but at the latest it'll be on the following cheque."

"Thanks."

"But in accordance to what your S/S wants, I'll have to back your hours off at your site to 40 per week."

"Of course."

And that's that.

When I went to work the following night, Indian guy met me outside (he was on patrol). "Hey man! You know that waiver that your S/S gave you to sign yesterday?"

"Yes."

"I was talking to Sleeper tonight, and he said that your S/S told him that you'd signed it over a month ago!"

Grrrrrrrr.

But I've said nothing to the S/S. I just told him I wasn't signing it. He said that was no problem. Funny how he didn't have any idea what was wrong with my payroll for the past month when I've been mentioning it to him. I mean, did he really think I wouldn't ultimately find out?

Indian guy took tea with the mail room guy at the site, and told him about all of this. Mail room guy is pissed, and vows to tell everybody in the building. :P If that happens, and anybody gives a rat's ass, I imagine that the S/S will find he gets a bit of the cold shoulder at work. You know, if he's there and not off the site at dinner or locked in a conference room watching tv.

Oh, and the capper on this. "No money in the budget for overtime", remember? The S/S is pushing for a raise for himself from the client. What a sweet guy.

Had to go to the hospital with someone the other night, and had to go to work before it was all taken care of. Someone took my place as companion, but it turns out that worrying (before the phone call to tell me that everything was, in fact, alright) really takes it out of you. I was so bagged at work. My eyes were scratchy and red, and I'm sure that anybody who saw me must have thought I'd gone through a couple of bowls. Just the sort of reputation I want. :P

I've been a busy busy boy this past week, but it's all good. I've even managed to play a little HL2, and it's pretty fun. Although somehow not quite what I was expecting. That's probably good too. :)

I'm going to try to get back to rambling more frequently here, and possibly I'll even have something amusing or, God forbid, amusing for you to read. But don't count on it.

Peace (of pie)