"Oh yeah, you were just getting changed for prom. Yeah, I'll buy that."
What's new from the Department of Unfortunate Statistics?
Extinction rate in oceans now faster than on Land. Coral reef collapses leading to mass extinctions; Thirty percent of warm-water species estimated gone. Fishing stocks depleted, UN declares scaleback necessary or commercial species will crash.
Topsoil loss nears a million acres a year. Deforestation now faster in temperate than tropical forests. Only 35% of tropical forests left.
The average Indian consumes 200 kilograms of grain a year; the average American, 800 kilograms; the average Italian, 400 kilograms. The Italian diet was rated best in the world for heart disease.
300 tons of weapons-grade uranium and plutonium unaccounted for. High mutation rate of microorganisms near radioactive waste-treatment sites. Antibiotics in animal feed reduce medical effectiveness of antibiotics for humans. Environmental estrogens suspected in lowest-ever human sperm counts.
Two billion tones of carbon added to the atmostphere this year. One of the five hottest years on record. The fed hopes U.S. economy will grow by four percent in the final quarter.
Finally, a day where nothing happened. When Valium Wailer came in to relieve me I told him about the elevator grope from yesterday, and that spun us into recounting the various episodes of coitus interruptus we've had working security.
And he wins. Way more lesbians in his stories than in mine. :P
Although I noted that he often feels like he's uncertain of what to do when he encounters people having sex on a site where they're not supposed to, whereas I either make some obvious noise (if I know who they are) so they have a chance to pull themselves together (not like that, pervert) before I appear around the corner, or else I appear as close as possible (usually this is when they're in a car) and tap on the glass. People doing Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon moves as they attempt to spinning whirl off of each other and into their pants keeps me laughing all night.
It's possible I'm a bit of a jerk. Hmmmm
Extinction rate in oceans now faster than on Land. Coral reef collapses leading to mass extinctions; Thirty percent of warm-water species estimated gone. Fishing stocks depleted, UN declares scaleback necessary or commercial species will crash.
Topsoil loss nears a million acres a year. Deforestation now faster in temperate than tropical forests. Only 35% of tropical forests left.
The average Indian consumes 200 kilograms of grain a year; the average American, 800 kilograms; the average Italian, 400 kilograms. The Italian diet was rated best in the world for heart disease.
300 tons of weapons-grade uranium and plutonium unaccounted for. High mutation rate of microorganisms near radioactive waste-treatment sites. Antibiotics in animal feed reduce medical effectiveness of antibiotics for humans. Environmental estrogens suspected in lowest-ever human sperm counts.
Two billion tones of carbon added to the atmostphere this year. One of the five hottest years on record. The fed hopes U.S. economy will grow by four percent in the final quarter.
Finally, a day where nothing happened. When Valium Wailer came in to relieve me I told him about the elevator grope from yesterday, and that spun us into recounting the various episodes of coitus interruptus we've had working security.
And he wins. Way more lesbians in his stories than in mine. :P
Although I noted that he often feels like he's uncertain of what to do when he encounters people having sex on a site where they're not supposed to, whereas I either make some obvious noise (if I know who they are) so they have a chance to pull themselves together (not like that, pervert) before I appear around the corner, or else I appear as close as possible (usually this is when they're in a car) and tap on the glass. People doing Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon moves as they attempt to spinning whirl off of each other and into their pants keeps me laughing all night.
It's possible I'm a bit of a jerk. Hmmmm
posted by Rimmy at 01:37
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