If we're all God's children, why is Jesus so special?
Therefore, since there is no proof of its absence, Christianity must be true. As must Buddhism, Sikhism, Islam, and the religions of ancient Greece, Rome and Egypt. There are lots of old Norse gods bumming around my neighbourhood too.
Oops, sorry. Wrote that in the wrong window. I was distracted when the six-armed lady living two apartments down asked if she could borrow a dove.
Anyway.
I had just got to work on Thursday and was sitting in the atrium with the client's Eyes and Ears and another guy, when someone came by and offered us cake.
Because she's a very nice person (and because I knew the cake was left over from someone's retirement bash earlier that day) I set aside my usual paranoia about accepting unsolicited food and we all took a piece.
We needed forks and plates. The plates were nearby, but there were no forks out. So I went to get some.
I do tell some fascinating stories, don't I?
At one end of the atrium is the kitchen, which has a folding gate pulled across it. I was outside of that, opening a cupboard that has all of the boxes of plastic utensils.
"Excuse me!" My back was to her, but it was obvious that Cafeteria Lady was about a metre and a half behind me, looking through the gate. It's hard to mistake the voice of the dark Edith Bunker.
"You're not allowed to get things out of there!"
My back still towards her, I glanced up at my cake-sharing companions. One's face was bland, the woman with the cake look horrified, and Eyes and Ears seemed irritated (and expectant).
"Really, is that so? How fascinating." I said, taking a couple of extra forks and heading back to the cake. Cafeteria Lady spent a fair amount of time glaring through the bars of her cage, but that's okay. I really don't mind.
"Did you get in trouble from her?" the lady with the cake asked, seriously.
"Nah. What can she do?"
"She's so..."
"Batshit crazy? Tell me about it."
Eyes and Ears: "You nailed it there, Rimmy."
The cake was totally worth it.
And except for the fork incident, I've noticed an inordinate amount of attention on me this week, and not the bad kind.
When the weather starts turning kind of summery, the womenfolk get into a good mood and forget about my sub-par rating (which takes a lot, since my jacket is loud and extremely unappealing) and seek me out, halt me to make small talk, and come to me in clusters to ask me to help them carry something ridiculous, like a two kilogram box. It's highly entertaining, enough so that I wish I didn't work evenings. But I do, so I'll just have to content myself with the fleeting attention.
I bet they'd be less interested if they knew that the other day when I was brushing my teeth I spat in the sink and it careened back out, arced over my shoulder, and sailed clear out of the bathroom and into the hall behind me.
Perhaps I'm spitting too hard?
I was laughing too hard on Tuesday, though. On the SkyTrain, on my way to work, there was this girl.
That isn't the funny part.
She was quite attractive, and Japanese. I mention that only because it will help you visualize the skirt she was wearing, which I've only seen Asian people wearing. It's rather short, and sort of puffs out.
Anyway, she was standing at one of the doors, and a lady came in with one of those little dogs that I hate. She sat down, but let her dog run around free on the train. This little thing made a beeline for the Japanese girl, and started doing figure-eights around her ankles, yipping the whole time.
When the girl put her feet together to preven it, the dog would sit at her feet, staring up her legs and under her skirt. Sometimes he'd rear up with his paws on her knees, staring upwards.
The girl was clearly very embarassed, and it probably didn't help that by this time the entire car was trying not to laugh aloud (most of us - some just went ahead and did it). The dog's owner did absolutely nothing to control her dog, and I don't even know if she knew what was going on. Fortunately for the girl, the lady and her dog got off after a couple of stops. Good start to the day. ;)
Now, I'm going to finish this off with a link that you really shouldn't click on. I include it because I looked at it, and it bothered me.
Normally when there's a beheading or a bus explosion or something that everybody is decrying in the news, I look out the video so I can see what it is that I'm supposed to be upset about.
On that note, it looks like being beheaded isn't any worse than being shot, from a pain and suffering point of view. But that may just be me.
That said, this video really bugged me. Be aware that it is graphic animal cruelty, so I again recommend that you don't watch it. Oh, and there are porn banners on the page too, if that sort of thing bothers you.
Oops, sorry. Wrote that in the wrong window. I was distracted when the six-armed lady living two apartments down asked if she could borrow a dove.
Anyway.
I had just got to work on Thursday and was sitting in the atrium with the client's Eyes and Ears and another guy, when someone came by and offered us cake.
Because she's a very nice person (and because I knew the cake was left over from someone's retirement bash earlier that day) I set aside my usual paranoia about accepting unsolicited food and we all took a piece.
We needed forks and plates. The plates were nearby, but there were no forks out. So I went to get some.
I do tell some fascinating stories, don't I?
At one end of the atrium is the kitchen, which has a folding gate pulled across it. I was outside of that, opening a cupboard that has all of the boxes of plastic utensils.
"Excuse me!" My back was to her, but it was obvious that Cafeteria Lady was about a metre and a half behind me, looking through the gate. It's hard to mistake the voice of the dark Edith Bunker.
"You're not allowed to get things out of there!"
My back still towards her, I glanced up at my cake-sharing companions. One's face was bland, the woman with the cake look horrified, and Eyes and Ears seemed irritated (and expectant).
"Really, is that so? How fascinating." I said, taking a couple of extra forks and heading back to the cake. Cafeteria Lady spent a fair amount of time glaring through the bars of her cage, but that's okay. I really don't mind.
"Did you get in trouble from her?" the lady with the cake asked, seriously.
"Nah. What can she do?"
"She's so..."
"Batshit crazy? Tell me about it."
Eyes and Ears: "You nailed it there, Rimmy."
The cake was totally worth it.
And except for the fork incident, I've noticed an inordinate amount of attention on me this week, and not the bad kind.
When the weather starts turning kind of summery, the womenfolk get into a good mood and forget about my sub-par rating (which takes a lot, since my jacket is loud and extremely unappealing) and seek me out, halt me to make small talk, and come to me in clusters to ask me to help them carry something ridiculous, like a two kilogram box. It's highly entertaining, enough so that I wish I didn't work evenings. But I do, so I'll just have to content myself with the fleeting attention.
I bet they'd be less interested if they knew that the other day when I was brushing my teeth I spat in the sink and it careened back out, arced over my shoulder, and sailed clear out of the bathroom and into the hall behind me.
Perhaps I'm spitting too hard?
I was laughing too hard on Tuesday, though. On the SkyTrain, on my way to work, there was this girl.
That isn't the funny part.
She was quite attractive, and Japanese. I mention that only because it will help you visualize the skirt she was wearing, which I've only seen Asian people wearing. It's rather short, and sort of puffs out.
Anyway, she was standing at one of the doors, and a lady came in with one of those little dogs that I hate. She sat down, but let her dog run around free on the train. This little thing made a beeline for the Japanese girl, and started doing figure-eights around her ankles, yipping the whole time.
When the girl put her feet together to preven it, the dog would sit at her feet, staring up her legs and under her skirt. Sometimes he'd rear up with his paws on her knees, staring upwards.
The girl was clearly very embarassed, and it probably didn't help that by this time the entire car was trying not to laugh aloud (most of us - some just went ahead and did it). The dog's owner did absolutely nothing to control her dog, and I don't even know if she knew what was going on. Fortunately for the girl, the lady and her dog got off after a couple of stops. Good start to the day. ;)
Now, I'm going to finish this off with a link that you really shouldn't click on. I include it because I looked at it, and it bothered me.
Normally when there's a beheading or a bus explosion or something that everybody is decrying in the news, I look out the video so I can see what it is that I'm supposed to be upset about.
On that note, it looks like being beheaded isn't any worse than being shot, from a pain and suffering point of view. But that may just be me.
That said, this video really bugged me. Be aware that it is graphic animal cruelty, so I again recommend that you don't watch it. Oh, and there are porn banners on the page too, if that sort of thing bothers you.
posted by Rimmy at 08:54
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