Strange, I didn't sniff any glue...
So I wake up a bit late and skip eating so I have time for a shower before I go to work. I arrive hungry and tired.
There's no food to be found on site, other than stale candy bars in the snack machine, which aren't worth the money or essential worthlessness of the food value. So I drink water.
The time simultaneously seems to be flying by (time to patrol again?) and dragging (how come I've done fifteen patrols and it's only a quarter of the way through my shift?).
I feel my balance is tip top, but I'm staggering. Finally, on the second floor, it happens.
I'm moving through the darkened maze of cubicles when my perspective shifts. Things stretch and distort, cubicle walls are made of stone, iron, bubbled black glass. Things skitter at the edges of my perception. There are disturbing noises.
Joining the bike patrol guards in the lobby, their faces are exaggerated and their voices mocking, the leers on their faces made monstrous.
A tiny voice of sanity from withing whispers "Jesus I'm far gone" but is unable to stop me from moving forward and playing my part.
My body seems out of proportion when I move. My belt is too tight and too loose simultaneously. The moat around the front door roils like it's boiling and has the colour of dull lead. The multi-storey glass walls around me tremble and pulsate like I'm within the guts of some huge abomination. Patrol follows patrol follows patrol.
Desperation now.
The patrols aren't to look for anything out of place, they've become a gauntlet through which I have to pass. Something could confront me at any time and I'm not equipped to deal with it, whatever it is.
Time passes...
And I wake up. A little behind, so I have to skip eating to have time for a shower and get to work hungry and tired.
Work isn't so fun that I want a double helping of it by dreaming a full (albeit weird) shift right before I have to actually go to work. Double time, no extra pay. Lame. :P
At least while writing this down I remembered one of my favourite jokes.
Q: How many nihilistic existentialists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe, and one to fill the bathtub with brightly coloured machine tools.
And at the risk of sounding paranoid (or possibly like a megalomaniac), people have been looking at me a lot the past few days.
From a distance (or when they think I can't see it) they seem to look me up and down, and from closer up they seem to search my face.
It's happened enough than I'm wondering if I was on the news for peeing in some bushes or something. Because every time I check to see if my fly is up, or if I've got something on my face, or that the mark of the beast is properly concealed.
I hope this is just seratonin depletion from all the night work, because it's really creeping me out.
Sort of in line with all of this, the employees at my site seem to be exceptionally friendly with me lately. Many of the women are even a little flirty, if my assessment of such can be trusted. Everybody jokes and smiles and seems to think I'm okay. This also makes me a little suspicious. ;)
I went into the office (my company's) after shift this morning to talk about some scheduled time off, and instead got treated to a monologue about taking a mobile position.
A couple of months ago (I'll put the link in here later when I'm not too lazy too look) I got a call asking if I wanted to go to mobile. I had about 1.5 hours to decide, and I ultimately said no. Well, the same woman who called me about it last time said today (she and our HR director have phenomenal memories) that I never called her back on it. I told her I had and that I'd left a message on her voicemail, since she hadn't been answering.
Anyway, she started trying to pimp it to me again, talking about flexible hours, longer shifts but more time off (twelve hour shifts, and four days on/off followed by three days on/off for seven days work of 84 hours in a pay period) and how awesome it would truly be.
I told her I'd think about scheduling a ride along someday and see how I like it.
But I'm working 96 hours a pay period right now, with two days off in two weeks. I'm not in my prime decision-making mode. Plus, I'm tired all the time with the job - do I really want to drive on top of that? We'll see.
Ah, a new badger entry! Badger Phone. And an inflatable pub, 760 square feet of it ready in six minutes!
How come that person is never on their IM? This guy figured it out - She Freakin' Blocked Me!
And then there's this, which I actually kind of enjoyed. It's an eight minute flash presentation about media from the mid-ninties to 2014. You can't pause it, so get yourself something to drink before you watch here.
There's no food to be found on site, other than stale candy bars in the snack machine, which aren't worth the money or essential worthlessness of the food value. So I drink water.
The time simultaneously seems to be flying by (time to patrol again?) and dragging (how come I've done fifteen patrols and it's only a quarter of the way through my shift?).
I feel my balance is tip top, but I'm staggering. Finally, on the second floor, it happens.
I'm moving through the darkened maze of cubicles when my perspective shifts. Things stretch and distort, cubicle walls are made of stone, iron, bubbled black glass. Things skitter at the edges of my perception. There are disturbing noises.
Joining the bike patrol guards in the lobby, their faces are exaggerated and their voices mocking, the leers on their faces made monstrous.
A tiny voice of sanity from withing whispers "Jesus I'm far gone" but is unable to stop me from moving forward and playing my part.
My body seems out of proportion when I move. My belt is too tight and too loose simultaneously. The moat around the front door roils like it's boiling and has the colour of dull lead. The multi-storey glass walls around me tremble and pulsate like I'm within the guts of some huge abomination. Patrol follows patrol follows patrol.
Desperation now.
The patrols aren't to look for anything out of place, they've become a gauntlet through which I have to pass. Something could confront me at any time and I'm not equipped to deal with it, whatever it is.
Time passes...
And I wake up. A little behind, so I have to skip eating to have time for a shower and get to work hungry and tired.
Work isn't so fun that I want a double helping of it by dreaming a full (albeit weird) shift right before I have to actually go to work. Double time, no extra pay. Lame. :P
At least while writing this down I remembered one of my favourite jokes.
Q: How many nihilistic existentialists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe, and one to fill the bathtub with brightly coloured machine tools.
And at the risk of sounding paranoid (or possibly like a megalomaniac), people have been looking at me a lot the past few days.
From a distance (or when they think I can't see it) they seem to look me up and down, and from closer up they seem to search my face.
It's happened enough than I'm wondering if I was on the news for peeing in some bushes or something. Because every time I check to see if my fly is up, or if I've got something on my face, or that the mark of the beast is properly concealed.
I hope this is just seratonin depletion from all the night work, because it's really creeping me out.
Sort of in line with all of this, the employees at my site seem to be exceptionally friendly with me lately. Many of the women are even a little flirty, if my assessment of such can be trusted. Everybody jokes and smiles and seems to think I'm okay. This also makes me a little suspicious. ;)
I went into the office (my company's) after shift this morning to talk about some scheduled time off, and instead got treated to a monologue about taking a mobile position.
A couple of months ago (I'll put the link in here later when I'm not too lazy too look) I got a call asking if I wanted to go to mobile. I had about 1.5 hours to decide, and I ultimately said no. Well, the same woman who called me about it last time said today (she and our HR director have phenomenal memories) that I never called her back on it. I told her I had and that I'd left a message on her voicemail, since she hadn't been answering.
Anyway, she started trying to pimp it to me again, talking about flexible hours, longer shifts but more time off (twelve hour shifts, and four days on/off followed by three days on/off for seven days work of 84 hours in a pay period) and how awesome it would truly be.
I told her I'd think about scheduling a ride along someday and see how I like it.
But I'm working 96 hours a pay period right now, with two days off in two weeks. I'm not in my prime decision-making mode. Plus, I'm tired all the time with the job - do I really want to drive on top of that? We'll see.
Ah, a new badger entry! Badger Phone. And an inflatable pub, 760 square feet of it ready in six minutes!
How come that person is never on their IM? This guy figured it out - She Freakin' Blocked Me!
And then there's this, which I actually kind of enjoyed. It's an eight minute flash presentation about media from the mid-ninties to 2014. You can't pause it, so get yourself something to drink before you watch here.
posted by Rimmy at 19:24
3 Comments:
I think maybe you should go back to eating only rice. It has all the nutritional value of lego but you seemed relatively sane when you were living off of it before. Besides it is cheap. In fact I think that is why you were eating only rice in the past. I don't know if it will improve your dreamstate any but if you put half a bottle of hot sauce on it your dreams are bound to become more interesting. Maybe you will find some dahleks in the office this time. - Uber Smelter (Not Anonymous. I just don't have a bloody username)
DUDE....trust me...I know this personally...EAT & SLEEP are important things....if you work the rest of the time well you're just gona have to make time for FOOD & SLEEP ( I capitalized the letters so you wouldn't lose focu....HEY SHUT DOWN THE OTHER LINK AND LISTEN!).
Your very sanity depends on those thing...and trust me...other than you I am probably one of the only ones to understand. :)
Be well my friend...
Hot sauce on rice is often tasty. Are you surprised to know that lately, when I actually make something at home, it IS rice (and fish)? I like the hour or so it takes to steam, because it actually adds a little structure to a day made strange by odd working times and random sleep.
And no worries on the Anonymous - it's precisely for my friends that don't have/don't want blogs here that I have anonymous comments enabled, and you handled it perfectly by signing. So bravo with brightly polished brass knobs on it!
As for you, FC, it's not making the time for sleep that's the problem, it's actually sleeping when I've made the time, you know? Bah. I semi-eat now, so that's good. :)
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