Hyper Nonsense World Tobasco Shower

First off: to anybody who heard me refer to "defecating out a diamond-encrusted howler monkey", I didn't really.

So no, I don't have a pet monkey, and no, I can't use the diamonds to pay for his upkeep with a tidy profit left over for myself.

I'm a tired boy.

I woke up at 0600 on Sunday, and thanks to the blazing heat I didn't manage to actually sleep before I started work at 0000. It's now about 1020, and since I have something to do around 1330 I don't expect I'll be able to even lay down until 1600 or so. But that's only 34 hours of being awake, no biggie. :P

I put my ankle weights on before walking off to work last night.

I get into these moods where I get semi-inspired to get into shape (not that round isn't a shape) and so I do these half-assed things. They're five pounds each, and unfortunately are bright blue, so to anybody who sees me from a distance or only gives a casual glance, I appear to be wearing legwarmers.

A few people actually asked me what they were, but most people just quickly dart their eyes down, then back up to my face to see what sort of a weirdo would wear such a thing. Not that they're not polite about it - since I was watching for it, I saw people notice, then pretend to cough so they could lower their head legitimately. It's funny when a large group of strangers does this all at the same time, by the way. ;)

Near the SkyTrain station on the way to work I saw two guys heading up the hill. Identically dressed. And not in a uniform either, just same colours and same clothes. I didn't feel too bad about my ankle weights cum legwarmers when I saw that.

And tonight was the first time The Sleeper and I were together for our weekly five minutes. And what do you know? He piled on the false bon homme!

Ah well, it could have been worse I guess. And, in fact, it was. I roasted at work.

R O A S T E D

Gotta wear a stupid jacket and a stupid shirt with the top button done up and a tie to seal in all of that heat in a place that's actually hotter inside than outside which is already more than hot enough thank you very much and I'm sweating like hydroelectic yak with dubious personal hygie... but I digress.

Had the Romanian and the Hippie scheduled to work. The Romanian was there, but where was the Hippie?

After about 1.5 hours, I finally convinced the Romanian to call their office. Hippie rides his bike to work, and might be hurt somewhere. Besides, if someone comes looking for security during the period where it's just the Hippie, and nobody can find him, they'll ask the Romanian why he didn't bother to mention that the guy had never showed up.

And when he called the office, what was their response?

"We only have one guy on that site."

"I know, I'm looking for the other guy. He hasn't shown up yet."

"We only have one guy scheduled for that site. Always have."

"For going on seven months we've had two guys on this site!"

"We only have one guy assigned there. His name is (Romanian)."

"That's me! I know who I am, it's the other guy I'm asking about!"

"Thank you for keeping us informed. You're the only guy on."

Click.

Ain't that a son of a bitch?

Hippie managed to show up around 0300. He somehow slept through two of his alarms he said, but that didn't make sense with when he said "I woke up and saw that it was quarter to 0000, and I thought `That can't be right.'"

Since it takes him about 45 minutes to bike to the site, how did he extend that to three hours? I never bothered to ask. :P

Romanian rant for today: I had mentioned offhandedly that I seemed to be noticing a lot of pigeon-toed women roaming about lately. I can't remember why I said it, but it's true - lately there seem to be a lot of people that I notice walking oddly, and sure enough they've got their toes turned in. So I mentioned it.

The Romanian said "Yeah, all of the chicks (he pronounces it cheeks to my great amusement) here are fucked up. Especially the Chinese... Japanese... Korean yellow slant-eyed whatevers. They all have legs like this..."

At which point he begins to trace unlikely leg shapes in the air.

"Do you know why Romanian girls have such nice straight legs? It's because for the first week after they're born, when their bones are still cartilage, they're wrapped tightly in twine so they can't move. That makes their legs nice and straight."

I looked over at the sleepy Hippie. "About your friend... do you see the kind of fucked-up people your company hires?"

Romanian also went on to talk about some neighbourhood in New York (meaning the city, not just the state generically) where the Jews ("the radical ones, with the long curls of hair and the chocolate cakes on their heads") fight a constant war with the blacks. "They hate each other" he says.

Of course, by "radical ones" he means Orthodox, and while "chocolate cakes on their heads" gave me a bit of a puzzle for a bit (remember, I've been awake for a while), he just means those brimmed hats, as opposed to the yamakas.

Luckily, there was a nice sunrise to make me forget all of his anti-Semite ravings. Dawn stained the sky a nice pink colour that went well against all of the greenery. And the perfume in the air from all of the open flowers made it a most pleasant scene.

Except that I can tell it's going to be hot again today. Bah. :P

And today's title, if you're curious, comes from this picture. Those wacky manga-writers.