I am a mirror of myself - seek not your answers in me.
I made an offhand remark about making a game around the security biz, and DiceGimp jumped on it. Hmph.
Now I'm thinking that shortly there'll be a D20 book out with my name on the cover and a template if you want to play Everything-Hating-Romanian. :P
And speaking of game, I got my ass handed to me in it yesterday. It was all my fault, and I'm not technically dead, but I got cleanly torped and with my current Humanity and Blood Potency, we're looking at three years before I snap out of it. Short of those remaining in my coterie (once they stop shaking their heads in disbelief) coming up with a plan. ;)
And... got to see the first episode of the new Family Guy the other day. From the teaser before they roll the theme song:
Peter: Everybody, I got bad news. We've been cancelled.
Lois: Oh no! Peter, how could they do that?
Peter: Well unfortunately Lois, there's just no room on the schedule. We've just got to accept the fact that Fox has to make room for terrific shows, like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80's Show, Wonder Falls, Fastlane, Andy Richter Controls the Universe, Skin, Girl's Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, Firefly, Get Real, Freaky Links, Wanda At Large, Costello, The Lone Gunmen, A Minute With Stan Hooper, Normal Ohio, Passadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddy, The Street, American Embassy, Cedric the Entertainer, The Tick, Louie, and Greg the Bunny.
Lois: Is there no hope?
Peter: Well, I suppose if all those shows go down the tubes we might have a shot.
Roll credits.
Isn't that great? :D
But what isn't so great:
In my blog entry of May 2, found under Titan Uranus Hong Kong, I got some comments to the effect of that 72 hours is too much to be working in a week, et cetera.
But I also got some real-life comments that baffled me, and baffle me still. I'll quote the relevent parts, and then paraphrase what was said to me about them.
Me having to work maximum overtime (I'm starting to eyeball a 72 hour per week schedule) is a labour of love, but don't think that when I come home from working and have to sleep during the middle of the day that you get to stay in our home and selfishly keep me awake because you want to visit with mom and baby. If you're not contributing, then you get considered after those of us who are.
My God! You don't want anybody to have a chance to visit with the baby? I even showed this to someone else who agreed with my interpretation!
Well, let me tell you. For those people who work during the day, pretend you're working sixteen hour shifts. From 0700 to 2300. That leaves you eight hours (during the night) for your commute to and from work, home meals, visiting with your family, any social stuff you might be able to manage, and sleep.
Would you be okay with people wanting to come by and visit the baby at three in the morning?
Of course not.
Now, check this out: I work during the night. That means that the narrow window in which I get to sleep is during the day. Five hours of sleep is typically my maximum. Is it really so outlandish of me to say that since I'm working my ass off (all those hours I'm referring to, not the difficulty of the work) that I need some time to sleep in this apartment, and that those of you just here for the visiting can find something else to do elsewhere during that time?
If you wouldn't want me at your place in the middle of the night wanting to visit and play and be entertained, have a little empathy for me when my night is in the middle of the day.
And I certainly can't see how even the original statement can be interpreted to mean that I want to isolate the baby from everybody and never have anybody visit.
Oh, and something else. Me mentioning that I'm looking at shifting to a greater number of hours per week is not an attempt to pass myself off as a martyr. I believe that immediately after I mentioned the hours thing, I also added that it's a labour of love. I'm not sure how that snuck under the radar, but anybody who thinks that I want some sympathy for something I'm doing voluntarily is off their nut.
I'm doing that because I'm worried about money (not knowing what to expect since it's not like I've had kids before) and I want to be sure that there's no deficit.
If it was just me alone, I could easily say "Sure, I'll skip a meal" or "Screw paying the electricity bill", but it's different with dependents. If baby needs eardrops, baby needs eardrops. No waiting until the next paycheque for that. I'd rather deal with potential money problems before they happen, that's all.
And if you think I want to spend all those hours away, and then get a tiny sliver of time with the little bundle of joy before having to sleep and then leave again, you'd be wrong.
And a note on that. If you're someone who's pledged to contribute something, that's all well and good. But I hope you ask us about it first, because frankly we don't have such a huge place that we need a bunch of crap that the baby can't appreciate anyway. Yes, I know you're all excited and have fun looking at all the cute baby things, but let us set the pace, m'kay?
Are you trying to insult people, by saying that their gifts and contributions are crap? What's wrong with you?!
Well, "crap" in this case (note that I say I have to shift my crap around to get at the crap I want, when talking about my own stuff) means things of dubious usefulness that consume a fair amount of space.
Everybody knows somebody who has a crib they don't use. Lots of people offer such things when someone needs them. No, we really don't need four cribs.
It doesn't mean that your crib, or even your offer of it, is crap or a bad thing, just that we don't have so much space that we can store the other three cribs. And baby doesn't care about having a different one each night.
That was also why I said "I hope you ask us about it first", because baby bathtubs, stuffed animals bigger than me, the aforementioned cribs, and myriad other things can just get to the irritation point rather than being appreciated. Also at the end of that same paragraph: "let us set the pace, m'kay?"
I thought (and think) that's reasonable.
And now problems that didn't stem from the blog:
If I don't care whether you do something or not, and you feel guilty about not doing it, that doesn't mean that I'm guilt-tripping you about it.
Specifically: if you're not working and I am, and I've many times told you you didn't have to work if you didn't want to, and you end up feeling guilty because I always buy the groceries, it doesn't mean I'm trying to make you feel guilty when I get home on Friday mornings and we head off to the supermarket.
We all have our parts to play, and they're not the same parts.
To sit and wait for happiness doesn't work. To only look for the negative and ulterior in everything doesn't work.
To feel unworthy doesn't work.
And no matter how far or how often you flee, you can't escape yourself.
Now I'm thinking that shortly there'll be a D20 book out with my name on the cover and a template if you want to play Everything-Hating-Romanian. :P
And speaking of game, I got my ass handed to me in it yesterday. It was all my fault, and I'm not technically dead, but I got cleanly torped and with my current Humanity and Blood Potency, we're looking at three years before I snap out of it. Short of those remaining in my coterie (once they stop shaking their heads in disbelief) coming up with a plan. ;)
And... got to see the first episode of the new Family Guy the other day. From the teaser before they roll the theme song:
Peter: Everybody, I got bad news. We've been cancelled.
Lois: Oh no! Peter, how could they do that?
Peter: Well unfortunately Lois, there's just no room on the schedule. We've just got to accept the fact that Fox has to make room for terrific shows, like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80's Show, Wonder Falls, Fastlane, Andy Richter Controls the Universe, Skin, Girl's Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, Firefly, Get Real, Freaky Links, Wanda At Large, Costello, The Lone Gunmen, A Minute With Stan Hooper, Normal Ohio, Passadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddy, The Street, American Embassy, Cedric the Entertainer, The Tick, Louie, and Greg the Bunny.
Lois: Is there no hope?
Peter: Well, I suppose if all those shows go down the tubes we might have a shot.
Roll credits.
Isn't that great? :D
But what isn't so great:
In my blog entry of May 2, found under Titan Uranus Hong Kong, I got some comments to the effect of that 72 hours is too much to be working in a week, et cetera.
But I also got some real-life comments that baffled me, and baffle me still. I'll quote the relevent parts, and then paraphrase what was said to me about them.
Me having to work maximum overtime (I'm starting to eyeball a 72 hour per week schedule) is a labour of love, but don't think that when I come home from working and have to sleep during the middle of the day that you get to stay in our home and selfishly keep me awake because you want to visit with mom and baby. If you're not contributing, then you get considered after those of us who are.
My God! You don't want anybody to have a chance to visit with the baby? I even showed this to someone else who agreed with my interpretation!
Well, let me tell you. For those people who work during the day, pretend you're working sixteen hour shifts. From 0700 to 2300. That leaves you eight hours (during the night) for your commute to and from work, home meals, visiting with your family, any social stuff you might be able to manage, and sleep.
Would you be okay with people wanting to come by and visit the baby at three in the morning?
Of course not.
Now, check this out: I work during the night. That means that the narrow window in which I get to sleep is during the day. Five hours of sleep is typically my maximum. Is it really so outlandish of me to say that since I'm working my ass off (all those hours I'm referring to, not the difficulty of the work) that I need some time to sleep in this apartment, and that those of you just here for the visiting can find something else to do elsewhere during that time?
If you wouldn't want me at your place in the middle of the night wanting to visit and play and be entertained, have a little empathy for me when my night is in the middle of the day.
And I certainly can't see how even the original statement can be interpreted to mean that I want to isolate the baby from everybody and never have anybody visit.
Oh, and something else. Me mentioning that I'm looking at shifting to a greater number of hours per week is not an attempt to pass myself off as a martyr. I believe that immediately after I mentioned the hours thing, I also added that it's a labour of love. I'm not sure how that snuck under the radar, but anybody who thinks that I want some sympathy for something I'm doing voluntarily is off their nut.
I'm doing that because I'm worried about money (not knowing what to expect since it's not like I've had kids before) and I want to be sure that there's no deficit.
If it was just me alone, I could easily say "Sure, I'll skip a meal" or "Screw paying the electricity bill", but it's different with dependents. If baby needs eardrops, baby needs eardrops. No waiting until the next paycheque for that. I'd rather deal with potential money problems before they happen, that's all.
And if you think I want to spend all those hours away, and then get a tiny sliver of time with the little bundle of joy before having to sleep and then leave again, you'd be wrong.
And a note on that. If you're someone who's pledged to contribute something, that's all well and good. But I hope you ask us about it first, because frankly we don't have such a huge place that we need a bunch of crap that the baby can't appreciate anyway. Yes, I know you're all excited and have fun looking at all the cute baby things, but let us set the pace, m'kay?
Are you trying to insult people, by saying that their gifts and contributions are crap? What's wrong with you?!
Well, "crap" in this case (note that I say I have to shift my crap around to get at the crap I want, when talking about my own stuff) means things of dubious usefulness that consume a fair amount of space.
Everybody knows somebody who has a crib they don't use. Lots of people offer such things when someone needs them. No, we really don't need four cribs.
It doesn't mean that your crib, or even your offer of it, is crap or a bad thing, just that we don't have so much space that we can store the other three cribs. And baby doesn't care about having a different one each night.
That was also why I said "I hope you ask us about it first", because baby bathtubs, stuffed animals bigger than me, the aforementioned cribs, and myriad other things can just get to the irritation point rather than being appreciated. Also at the end of that same paragraph: "let us set the pace, m'kay?"
I thought (and think) that's reasonable.
And now problems that didn't stem from the blog:
If I don't care whether you do something or not, and you feel guilty about not doing it, that doesn't mean that I'm guilt-tripping you about it.
Specifically: if you're not working and I am, and I've many times told you you didn't have to work if you didn't want to, and you end up feeling guilty because I always buy the groceries, it doesn't mean I'm trying to make you feel guilty when I get home on Friday mornings and we head off to the supermarket.
We all have our parts to play, and they're not the same parts.
To sit and wait for happiness doesn't work. To only look for the negative and ulterior in everything doesn't work.
To feel unworthy doesn't work.
And no matter how far or how often you flee, you can't escape yourself.
posted by Rimmy at 14:21
2 Comments:
We had the same problems when we were on the night schedule. We tried to sleep, but the phone would ring, people would expect us to get out and do stuff since "we were home during the day" and all. People are retarded.
It's even worse when both people in the couple are on ^different^ schedules. I'm on nights, she's not. It works, but even the might Rimmy needs a bit of sleep.
Can't have 58 hour days ALL the time. :P
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