Look out, Hallmark!

She's not shy about it, so everyone can see,
But what's really disturbing is she's been with ten times more people than me.

A decision must be made, about just what I should do,
Do I sleep with this girl, or find someone new?

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, more,
Meh, I'm already wasted, might as well sleep with the whore.

-----

Sorry about that, a Mastercard commercial went through my head as I stumbled home far too late from work:

New shirt and pants: $120

Seven shots of tequila: $28

Ten more shots of tequila: $40

Drunken hallucination of fighting the battle of Helms Deep with a machine gun: PRICELESS

You really have to hand it to the blind prostitute.

Remember last week one of the employees at my site caught Buffalo Kisser sleeping in the exercise room downstairs at 0500?

Well, he's mad at me because someone called his office about it, and he thinks it's me. Especially in light of all of this DiceGimp stuff.

Silly bastard, not only didn't I do anything about it (since the lady who caught him didn't complain, she just told a funny story), I wouldn't call his office on him. Since I have no authority nor am I a client, I don't even get to do that.

But he's pissed, and thinks it's me.

And, in fact, there's some dissent at the site. I'm starting to hear rumours (from whom I'll tell you in a minute) that I usurped Barney's throne, and blah blah blah.

That's (it seems) the latest offering from Cafeteria Lady, probably instigated by Crazy Cougar Receptionist. I've had lots and lots of people tell me that Cafeteria Lady simply can't shut up about me, despite me not even having a conversation with her in close to two months, except for once. Pity, because I thought we got along okay at the time. Shows what I know.

But when I first heard about her talking about me being nosy and all, and I became S/S, I let the client (my boss at the site, I suppose) know about it. Her response: "Understood. Keeping doing your job. Don't worry about anything that comes from them, and any complaint against you will have the source(s) noted." That's kind of reassuring, in a cold android-like way.

Still more people are asking me if Barney got fired. That's the rumour going around right now (hardly a rumour, as it's what happened, but still) and people have noticed that we're in week three of no Barney. Watching who tries to buddy up and who watches with worried eyes has been educational.

But as much as I like Byzantine politics, I'm tired of all this.

I mean, I'm still doing the same basic job I've done there for the past year, I'm just on a different shift and I have some paperwork and responsibilities that the site people never see anyway. So what's the big freaking deal?

When I went in yesterday, Eyes and Ears (of the client) was sitting with a temp in the cafeteria. I waved and after I got my radio and phone, I went and sat with them for a bit. We shot the shit, he mentioned that CCG was getting fatter, and that was that.

Later, after a couple of patrols, I happened to be in the sanctum he works out of. He had a big bag of Raisin Bran cookies, and he offered me a packet of them. He said that he would have offered one to me earlier in the cafeteria, but Cafeteria Lady had just given them to him (and left the building, it was her time to go) and she said, and I quote him here, "Now these are for your children, and don't go giving any to You-Know-Who."

This right after she'd been slagging me to him, he tells me.

What the fuck? When did I become Voldemort for Tom Riddle's sake?

It's all very weird, and since I'm not there during the workday I have to pick all of this nonsense up in snippets.

At least nobody can have a direct complaint against me. I mean, how often do they even see me now? :P

No evenings, no girls, and still I get a helping of DiceGimp? Sheesh

I'm going to call the new guy "Palooka". Mostly because he reminds me of Sly in the Rocky movies, mostly the first one.

He tells me he's digging the site, that it's exactly what he wants. Nothing untoward really happens, and it's quiet. I hope that doesn't mean he finds it an ideal place to conduct his sleep research. :P

My mom had a hell of a week, last week. Listen to this:

A long-time friend, possibly forty-five years of a friend, died of cancer. My mom's sister, who was diagnosed a few months ago with inoperable brain cancer, was moved into the hospice where she'll spend whatever time remains to her. The day after she did that, my mom got a phone call saying that said aunt had fallen and broken her hip, and wasn't expected to live through the night.

Twenty minutes or so after that phone call, another relative who had sort of slipped out of sight six years ago or so got the general message put out about the above-mentioned aunt, and made contact with the family again. He called my mom, asked about the aunt (not an aunt to him, just to me), and then informed my mom that he has AIDS. From what she told me, this relative is on the AZT cocktail, but I could be wrong.

The following day, my folks went up to visit the hurt aunt. Yes, she made it through the night, and the following one too. She didn't see another, though.

In the hospice, they saw the only woman I was ever engaged to be married to. She's since married and has two kids. That's fair, since it was over ten years ago that we were together. ;)

She was there with her family because her dad was in the terminal stages of his cancer, and she didn't expect him to be around for more than a few days.

And finally, on a buddy's blog, I read that a friend of his' brother and partner had been struck by a drunk driver while they were cycling. The brother suffered a broken back and neck, and possibly there is some evidence of brain damage. A further blog entry from about an hour ago says that the surgery to repair his neck was successful, and that the broken back was such that there is minor risk of spinal cord damage.

Not that I would wish that on anybody, but my buddy and I share at least one friend with brothers in Vancouver. I hope this isn't one of them.

Okay, bad news aside now.

I left a door undeadbolted (but still locked) when I left the site on Friday, to see if the weekend graveyard guy would catch it (he still doesn't have a nickname, but there's just no stories to tell about him!). And he did! I'm so glad.

When I walked in to work on Monday, there were five messages waiting for me at my desk. And the eyes and ears of my client had a funny story to tell me. It seems that at 0700 that morning he went out to the lobby to get the newspapers, and he saw DiceGimp sitting at his little table, head lolled back on the chair, snoring.

Guess what the other five messages were about? Yup, same thing.

It's a bit of a problem for me, or so it seems. Can you guess why?

If it was just something that people told me as I passed them on my rounds, we could laugh about it and say "Man, those other guards suck!" or whatever.

But if several people were independantly concerned enough about it to leave me messages, I sort of feel I have to respond. But what to do?

I mean, I'm not just one of the guards anymore. The client is watching (metaphorically) to see how I handle this new position. I've as much as been told by them that the future of my company on the site depends on what happens now. And like I said, one of the eyes and ears of the client was one of the people that told me about DiceGimp sleeping in broad daylight in the lobby of my building when there are literally hundreds of people walking around. So a response seems warranted.

I thought about it for some time, and finally (just to gauge his reaction) I asked Buffalo Kisser about it. I told him the story, and said "What would you do if you were me?"

If you haven't got the gist before, Buffalo Kisser distrusts thinking and emphasis on the mind. He prefers simple physical things, and "enlightenment". Don't ask me to explain, when I do I just want to bonk my head with a slab of hardwood.

He said "Man, you think all the time. You think too much. Forget about thinking, forget about consequences, just make a decision and do it!"

Gee thanks.

He also said "If Barney were here, this would have been solved already. He would have just ignored it and that would be the end of it."

Fucker.

Rimmy: "Yeah, but Barney isn't here, and it's because of the way he did things that he's not! Plus, DiceGimp has been slurring and ranting against me for weeks now to everybody, yourself included. I know this, because you all tell me so. It would sure be easy to make the connection that if I do anything that negatively affects him, that I must be doing it 'for revenge'."

Buffalo Kisser: "So what? You're thinking again. I know you have much hate for him, and that you will make a decision to hurt him as much as possible. So do it!"

Rimmy: "Whoa whoa whoa! I'm not ranting about him (anywhere except on this blog, of course), and he's the one who's upset with me! About the parking ticket, about The Romanian's monitor, et cetera blah blah blah."

Buffalo Kisser: "Well, I've never heard you say that you like him or that he's a good guy or anything."

Rimmy: "Because I don't, and I don't think he is."

Buffalo Kisser: "Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!"

Rimmy: "But that's not the same as having a hate on for him. What, are you good friends and buddies with Evil Property Manager (his client)?"

Buffalo Kisser: "No man, that guy is stupid."

Rimmy: "So you hate him, eh?"

Buffalo Kisser: "No, I'm just not his buddy."

Rimmy: "See what I mean?"

He didn't.

Anyway, after that conversation he called up DiceGimp, who denied sleeping in the lobby (six independant reports be damned) and that he didn't care about the consequences, let me do what I want.

Buffalo Kisser then told me that DiceGimp was probably going to talk to me when he got to work about this.

I asked him "Why? Didn't you say he told you that he wasn't sleeping, and didn't care about the consequences and that I can do whatever I want about it?"

He had no answer to that.

When Palooka came to work, I asked him about the job, and then I asked him where he was at 0700 this morning. He was a bit vague, trying to pinpoint the exact spot it seemed. So I asked him about DiceGimp sleeping, and he said "Oh yeah, I did see that! I was going to go out and wake him up, but my girlfriend called me to say good morning so I stayed in reception. I told my girlfriend about this dude sleeping, and she said to leave him alone (she also works for our company, as a supervisor on a different site) as it wasn't my problem. So I left him."

Oh yeah, everybody is wrong and DiceGimp wasn't sleeping.

I mentioned to Palooka that anything I did was going to look like some sort of punishment to DiceGimp for talking all the shit about me. And Palooka said the strangest thing.

"No, DiceGimp says that he always sang your praises, that he always told people you were a good guy, but that when you found out you were going to be an S/S you changed and became a real jerk."

Which is bullshit. I'm always a real jerk. Further, if you'll remember back to Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven DiceGimp was already upset with me and Buffalo Kisser dragged him into my office to have him tell me about it, on the same night that I found out Barney was leaving and I was going to be in charge!

Ah, it was so good hearing that. It means that I don't really give a rat's ass about anything that comes out of this bugger's mouth if and when the mousetrap snaps down on his neck.

I've sent off an email to the client's rep with a copy sent to my security manager. Basically I'm saying that I got a number of complaints/notes about this, I looked into it and found it was true (more people telling me about it, which I detailed) that this was the guard assigned to protect the outside of our building, among other things, and that he had no connection to my security company.

I can't directly complain about him to anybody. However, my client can complain to their landlord (Evil Property Manager) if they want to.

When I left the site, I'd left the same door unlocked for Palooka that I left unlocked for the weekend graveyard guy. I told Palooka to note any doors he found unlocked.

And he called me at 0200 to say he'd found one, and it was the right one!

So points to him for finding it, but minus a few for feeling he needs to call me in the middle of the night to tell me about it. Just lock the damn door!

Eat it, Trebek!

edit added at 1236: after receiving two automated bits of chumpage on this last post, I've turned on word verification for anybody wanting to leave a comment. All this means is that you'll have to successfully type in the word that appears on your screen when you comment. If you can't handle that, then your comment probably isn't worth reading anyway. I'm talking to you, Mr. Gibberish Spammer!

There is no good or evil, just fun or boring.

Tuesday afternoon I head into work. I change into my costume and head down to my desk in reception to check out the report from the new guy, and to go over any new paperwork that's been sent to me.

On the way, out of the corner of my eyes, I notice a bit more attention than usual, but it's at a distance.

Into reception I go, and Crazy Cougar Receptionist immediately whirls around with the strangest expression on her face and says "Hello!". Not full of enthusiasm like the exclamation point would indicate, but more startled.

Interesting. She never initiates a greeting with me.

I return it, and walk past over to my desk. I notice she's avidly tracking me, and when I sit down I see her eyes are big and she's staring. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was unsettled worry. I start reading a report.

CCR: "Is Barney coming back?"

Aha!

Rimmy: [not looking up from the report] "No, Barney's not coming back."

CCR: "Oh."

She continued to stare with those eyes at me. Something unexpected (to her) has happened, and she's unsure of things. Sucks to be her.

She's waiting for me to elaborate, but fuck her. If she wants to know more, she can ask. Which she won't, of course, because she doesn't want to betray her interest.

Now, remember how I said I noticed a bit more attention than usual while heading to my desk? During my first few rounds (before people headed home) I had people initiate conversations with me, and the ultimate thrust of most of them was "So... are you covering for Barney while he's on vacation?" or "Did Barney retire?".

So I answer. No, he's not retired. No, I'm not covering for him while he's on vacation, I'm here permanently. How wonderfully ironic is it that Barney, before he left, instructed me to tell people that he was "pursuing other opportunities" when they asked about him.

Poor Barney, he's never been an office worker although we work in an office. I don't think he knew that "pursuing other opportunities" is the euphemism for having your ass canned in the white collar cube farms. Ah well, not my problem, is it?

On Wednesday, I had to come in to work three hours earlier because a lot of the staff was off seeing some sort of motivational speaker. I had to start babysitting the nearly deserted building a bit earlier. No problem.

Interesting was seeing which people decided to play hookey from the speaker, and do some actual work. I tend to distrust the need to have someone else motivate you. If you get motivated by someone/something, that's great, but to try to artificially stimulate that by bringing in someone that's not from your industry, who's talking to the entire company at once... this mass-market concept of inspiration I find ludicrous.

Anyway, lots of the people (some of whom I used to see in the mornings, but who leave before I get there for 1600) stopped me to chat. And the Barney thing always came up.

And exactly what had been murmured by so many before is now being said aloud: "Thank God, that guy so slimy!" "I'm glad he's gone." "Congratulations, work will be a nicer place with you in his place." Well, that last one wasn't murmured before, but I snuck it in anyway. It's being said now, though. ;)

See, I guess word went through the place like wildfire on Friday, and with Monday being the stat, nobody was around to talk about it then. Tuesday was their first opportunity to talk to me, and I get there too late for lots of people. But with me there early on Wednesday...

Crazy Cougar Receptionist asked me about a semi-security concern. I answered and advised her politely. People ask for my [on site] phone number, and then call to be escorted to their vehicles. Of course, I realize that part of that is because they want to talk, but I'm not also going to oggle and sexually harass them either, I think they realize.

One particular Barney-hating manager sent out an email to her department, saying he'd been dismissed (this isn't official, but maybe this manager has a source), and there was much jubilation amongst her staffers.

Indian Guy, who's been bugging me daily since this happened because he wants a party to celebrate my promotion (read: he wants me to buy him some free pizza) came by yesterday and so I got pizza for him, Buffalo Kisser, and myself. And we talked the good talk.

Oh, and I finally got some word from my Cookie Monster manager, who was away on vacation when all of this happened. Yes, I'm Site Supervisor. Yes, my payscale goes up. If I can pull it off and get what Barney was pulling, that'll be a 66.7% increase. Not bad.

And the reason that Barney explained to this manager about why he was removed?

"See, [site] is a publically traded company, since it was bought in May, and the board wasn't comfortable with a non-employee (Barney) knowing so much about them."

Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

Want to know what it really was? Aside from the reams of complaints over the past several years that are resurfacing now that his manager buddy is gone?

He was trying to spy on people that were talking union, and report to some of the new managers from back east. Bad move.

You're not allowed to be obstructionist, not in that way. And what happens if anybody ever finds out? The company can be sued or worse. It's near-useless information.

And we're not (as guards) supposed to be doing that sort of nonsense.

His recent refusals to follow even simple orders, and his lack of popularity amongst critical (that he didn't recognise, it seems) individuals was just icing on the cake. G-g-g-GONE!

Ah well, my manager says that he wants to rewrite the site orders, and that he'll get Barney to help him. Nuh-UH!

I've already been revising them, with the input from the client, and he can just use those. Barney's input is not welcome with this client anymore, and besides, who's in charge here? We'll have to get this sorted out.

And isn't it nice to have the client's full support? ;)

Crazy Cougar Receptionist is up to her old tricks, I see. When she finished yesterday, she alarmed reception, where I go to my desk between patrols. In the year I've been there, that alarm has never been activated. She's just being a bitch.

I was writing in my notebook when I got the alarm call. When they told me where it was, I looked around and said "Well, I guess that would be me. I'm there now." Then I went out and looked at the keypad.

It's so unused, it's behind a plant. It's a miracle that I remembered the code, since I learned it on day one and have never had to use it. But that's no problem, because when you have access to the magnetic key system, you find that those you don't like sure have a hard time getting into the building or riding in the elevators.

But, of course, that would be wrong. ;)

I do have to talk to her, though. Apparently she's chatty/interrogating to the new guy in the morning just as he's trying to finish his report and leave. He told me last night that it's so bad, because he wants to be polite to her so he doesn't brush her off, that he screwed up his report and had to start from scratch.

And when you've been up all night and just want to get home, that's no good.

So I told him it was okay for him to tell her that he needs to get his stuff done, and can they continue this later?

But he's still a bit shy about asserting himself in something that's not clearly under the security portfolio. So I asked him if he wanted me to say something, and he said yes.

So I'm going to ask her to leave my guy alone while he's doing paperwork, and respect that he has things to do. She'd be pissed if people were bothering her while she's on the phone, after all. Same thing.

I'm sure it will go badly. Stay tuned. :P

Oh, and one of the employees at my site caught Buffalo Kisser sleeping in the exercise room downstairs when she went down there in the morning to do a bit of a workout. It was pitch dark at 0500, and she flicked on the lights and started to strip down to her workout togs. He was on a matress on the floor and sat bolt upright with a gasp.

He denied to her that he was sleeping, but I don't know who he thought he was fooling. What were you doing underground in the dark laying prone in total silence, meditating? Good luck with that.

But now he knows when she works out, so he oggles her through the window from outside. I'm going to have to put a stop to that too.

Sigh. Same job, whole different perception.

Oh! Remember the "Let mae tell you sumptin', mon! Thees is not China! Thees is not India! Thees is BOOOOOOOOLSHEET!" guy I mentioned briefly a couple of months ago? Here, I found it under Lunar Olympic officials continue search for missing pole vaulter.

Well, he was on the train when I was going home last night. He was making the rounds, sitting down and barking incoherently at people. He found a Coke can, which he picked up off the ground, crushed, and thoughtfully placed on a seat. He attempted to wipe up a stain he found with some plastic wrap.

And finally, it was my turn. He came over and sat across the aisle from me. The blast of alcohol fumes coming from him cleaned my pores to surgery standards, assuming I was having pore surgery.

What a strange thing to say. Anyway:

"Hey mon, what ees tha BOOK yar reading abOUT? Let mae HAVE eet!"

So I handed it to him while I gave a synopsis. He put up his hand and took out my bookmark, and attempted to read where I was. He didn't do very well.

He also twisted and bent my book in ways unlikely to let it maintain its "mint" rating. No matter.

Then he turned to the back where the "other books by this author" page is. He attempted to sound these out, then gave me back my book. He said "Do ya kno what MA book is?"

I told him I didn't.

He said "Isaac!" and crossed his arms.

"Well," I said, "this is my stop. Nice meeting you, have a good night."

It was his stop too. The station where I first saw him back in June. It was also the end of the line, at this time of night. So I got to ride the world's slowest elevator down to the street level with him.

He was muttering something about the cops always giving him a hard time, because he is a NEGRO. "Just like New Orleans!" he said.

"The cops hastle you because you're black? That can't be right." I said.

"No mon, the cops doan bother me." he said, as the doors opened and he went off to talk to a different group of strangers.

If he worked at my site, he wouldn't even be the worst guard there.

Well suck me raw with a breast pump!

Heh. I had the "opportunity" yesterday to talk to Evil Property Manager for the very first time.

I saw him at the start of my shift, as I was in a common area heading through a door into my site. He was in sweats (Labour Day is a statutory holiday here in Canada, not sure about the US) and I was in full uniform. He half-smiled and nodded his head in noncommital acknowledgement, and I gave nothing in return.

A moment later he realized who I was, froze up, and turned away. That's why I didn't bother returning the gesture - I know this dude. ;)

Anyway, about an hour later someone from the adjacent site was banging on my doors, asking for help.

It turns out he was working in the lab when he heard breaking glass. Someone smashed a window and grabbed a flat panel monitor in the adjacent room. It's possible they were going to grab the rest of the stuff in that room, but he was so noisy (so he says) getting over there that they fled with just the one. He phoned 911 himself, but was looking for some security to watch the area and possibly protect him in the meantime.

Interestingly enough, this falls under the jurisdiction of both Evil Property Manager and the Usual Gang of Idiots, better known as the bike patrol guys. Even more interesting, there is only twenty-two hour security on the site, and this happened smack dab in the middle of those two hours when there's no security around. I'm sure that's just a coincidence though. Yes, a coincidence.

Anyway, I went with him to see what happened, the police arrived, and I left them to it. I told the employee that I'd make some calls for him. So... I called Evil Property Manager and left him a message about what had happened.

Less than a minute later, he called back. I'm sure he wouldn't have if he realized that it was me again, but who knows? I quickly repeated the gist of my message, but in slightly more detail, and he wondered why the employee hadn't called the bike patrol company, and that I should tell the employee to do that.

I told him that I wasn't with the employee anymore, and he asked "So you can't find him?"

Man, what a jerk.

I said "I can find him, but it's not my responsibility to run messages for people." He replied with "Well, either you or him need to call [bike patrol company]."

Useless fucker.

More in the interests of giving the employee some piece of mind, so that he didn't feel he was vulnerable, I called the damn security company. I can't believe I danced to EPM's tune. :P

And speaking of jerks, before I left for the weekend I left written instructions for the three guards under me (I managed to talk to two of them in person after I wrote them, however) to check on something they hadn't had to do in the past.

And The Sleeper, who's only been tolerable when he was on painkillers (thanks for figuring that out from the evidence, Jay) actually made a point of writing that he'd done that on his daily reports.

I relieved him yesterday (he filled in the extra shift that the stat created) and he started cozying up to me, asking when I take my supervisor's course and other chitchat that was way out of character. Maybe he's a born sycophant.

Although in reviewing the log of the site phone, I noticed that he called Barney during his shift. I'm going to have to put a stop to that. Not to sound like a bad spy movie, but specific information doesn't need to be going out to the deposed/disgraced former leader.

Plus, I don't need any behind-the-scenes string pulling going on while I'm still learning the ropes.

And now for the news article that prompted the title of this entry, Clever Whales Bait Gulls With Fish. I'll reproduce it for you folks that are too lazy to press that heavy mouse button. ;)

Clever Whales Bait Gulls With Fish













NIAGARA FALLS, Ontario (AP) -- An enterprising young killer whale at Marineland has figured out how to use fish as bait to catch seagulls -- and shared his strategy with his fellow whales.
Michael Noonan, a professor of animal behavior at Canisius College in Buffalo, N.Y., made the discovery by accident while studying orca acoustics.

“One day I noticed one of the young whales appeared to have come up with a procedure for luring gulls down to the pool,'' the professor said. “I found it interesting so I noted it in my log.''
First, the young whale spit regurgitated fish onto the surface of the water, then sank below the water and waited.

If a hungry gull landed on the water, the whale would surge up to the surface, sometimes catching a free meal of his own.

Noonan watched as the same whale set the same trap again and again.

Within a few months, the whale's younger half brother adopted the practice. Eventually the behavior spread and now five Marineland whales supplement their diet with fresh fowl, the scientist said.

“It looked liked one was watching while the other tried,'' Noonan said of the whale's initial behavior.

The capacity to come up with the gull-baiting strategy and then share the technique with others -- known as cultural learning in the scientific world -- was once believed to be one of those abilities that separated humans from other animals.

But biologists have since proven certain animals, including dolphins and chimps, do this.
“This is an example in which a new behavior spread through a population,'' Noonan said. “We had the opportunity to see a tradition form and spread in exactly the way that cultures do in humans.''

He first shared his research earlier this month at the U.S. Animal Behavior Society Conference in Utah. Since then, he said, his phone hasn't stopped ringing.

Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers.

Man, I'm tired. Shifting one's schedule around does, as it turns out, take it out of you.

Yesterday morning, the new guy called me at home at 0600 because he got his first alarm (odd, since he was in the mobile division for a bit before coming to me) and wanted to know how to write it up.

I told him, but since he was unsure he kept me on the phone while he finished his patrol and then headed back to the office to do up the report. Sigh. It was all I could do to keep awake as I listened to him beeping his way through doors, hearing them thunk behind him, saying "good morning" to people et cetera... for far longer than I wanted to. :P

But it's worth it if now he knows what to do.

After he'd been on the site for a couple of days, a few of the women asked me about him. Turns out he's cute enough to make the passing girls sigh. When one of them told me this, I started playing it up.

This is a lady that I happen to like quite a bit, although not in that way. Mind you, if she was available... nevermind. :P

No, she's a cool chick, so I told her to check out his pants the next time she walks by, because he has to tie that thing of his back! Not to mention that he fucks like a sewing machine. This went on for a bit. She was amused.

When I told him later on that some of the women thought he was cute, and then the bit about the sewing machine, he actually blushed and laughed and said "Well don't tell me who you said it to - because I'll end up riding in an elevator with her and I won't know what to say!"

What a guy!

When I see her next, I'm going to tell her that I told him that she said that she wants to cover him in black pepper and sneeze all over him. Let's see if I can get her to blush too.

My field manager stopped by last night to swap out the radios, and he mentioned that Barney has to go to school. Turns out that while he's licenses to do security in B.C., he never took the certification that we all have (apparently it wasn't a requirement back when he started, and since he was S/S of the site almost from the start, it was never taken care of) so when he gets back from his vacation he gets to sit in class with all the brand newbies we hire every couple of weeks for a week of schooling.

And then... the physical part. An entire day of being thrown on the floor and slammed into walls. Joint locks, limb twisting, the announcer proclaiming "FINISH HIM!"... it's fun, but I'd love to film that old braggart grinding his teeth in class, and then having his hip thrown out. I'm a dick, I know.

The Romanian brought his monitor to work yesterday for me, and I've got it sitting on my desk now. Works fine, nice and bright, and now I'll have to flip between windows and apps slightly less since I've got the extra space. Nice.

DiceGimp, so I hear, is going to try to "punish" me by offering to buy the monitor for a ridiculously low sum, much lower than I paid for it. He figures that he can get the same monitor for way less than he was willing to pay two weeks ago (not true, at a store anyway) although he doesn't know the model or even the manufacturer. He also figures that I'll be desperate to unload this, because who wants to be saddled with two monitors? What a dumbass.

The new guy has said he's going to start avoiding DiceGimp because, and I quote, "Rimmy, he starts on these stories and goes on and on and finally I'm like 'Guy, I've got to go do a patrol now!' and he still keeps going on! And it never goes anywhere!"

First week, and DiceGimp is already driving the dude away. Take the hint, twit!

I talked with a representative of the client for over an hour during my shift yesterday. It was implied, but not stated outright, that the decision (and the impetus) to get rid of Barney came from higher up than I knew, and that it was because he was saying the wrong things to the wrong highly-placed people.

I thought I knew the level at which it originated, but if this is true then we're talking about people I don't even know.

However, the representative assured me on the phone, the decision to place me as the guy in charge came from the same level, and from every level below it. Unanimous, he said. That's nice, if it's true.

The cleaning staff is delighted that Barney's gone. They gave me a bunch of fresh muffins and want to have a party. I gather he was a rather enormous jerk to them.

And interestingly, some of the staff at the site seem to be happy that I'm there in the afternoons, rather than Barney. I'm a bit surprised at that, but these might be the people that knew what a backstabbings schemer he was to them, listening to what they had to say and running off to report it in an attempt to ingratiate himself to the higher-ups.

Time will tell. At least this weekend I get to game.