There is no good or evil, just fun or boring.
Tuesday afternoon I head into work. I change into my costume and head down to my desk in reception to check out the report from the new guy, and to go over any new paperwork that's been sent to me.
On the way, out of the corner of my eyes, I notice a bit more attention than usual, but it's at a distance.
Into reception I go, and Crazy Cougar Receptionist immediately whirls around with the strangest expression on her face and says "Hello!". Not full of enthusiasm like the exclamation point would indicate, but more startled.
Interesting. She never initiates a greeting with me.
I return it, and walk past over to my desk. I notice she's avidly tracking me, and when I sit down I see her eyes are big and she's staring. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was unsettled worry. I start reading a report.
CCR: "Is Barney coming back?"
Aha!
Rimmy: [not looking up from the report] "No, Barney's not coming back."
CCR: "Oh."
She continued to stare with those eyes at me. Something unexpected (to her) has happened, and she's unsure of things. Sucks to be her.
She's waiting for me to elaborate, but fuck her. If she wants to know more, she can ask. Which she won't, of course, because she doesn't want to betray her interest.
Now, remember how I said I noticed a bit more attention than usual while heading to my desk? During my first few rounds (before people headed home) I had people initiate conversations with me, and the ultimate thrust of most of them was "So... are you covering for Barney while he's on vacation?" or "Did Barney retire?".
So I answer. No, he's not retired. No, I'm not covering for him while he's on vacation, I'm here permanently. How wonderfully ironic is it that Barney, before he left, instructed me to tell people that he was "pursuing other opportunities" when they asked about him.
Poor Barney, he's never been an office worker although we work in an office. I don't think he knew that "pursuing other opportunities" is the euphemism for having your ass canned in the white collar cube farms. Ah well, not my problem, is it?
On Wednesday, I had to come in to work three hours earlier because a lot of the staff was off seeing some sort of motivational speaker. I had to start babysitting the nearly deserted building a bit earlier. No problem.
Interesting was seeing which people decided to play hookey from the speaker, and do some actual work. I tend to distrust the need to have someone else motivate you. If you get motivated by someone/something, that's great, but to try to artificially stimulate that by bringing in someone that's not from your industry, who's talking to the entire company at once... this mass-market concept of inspiration I find ludicrous.
Anyway, lots of the people (some of whom I used to see in the mornings, but who leave before I get there for 1600) stopped me to chat. And the Barney thing always came up.
And exactly what had been murmured by so many before is now being said aloud: "Thank God, that guy so slimy!" "I'm glad he's gone." "Congratulations, work will be a nicer place with you in his place." Well, that last one wasn't murmured before, but I snuck it in anyway. It's being said now, though. ;)
See, I guess word went through the place like wildfire on Friday, and with Monday being the stat, nobody was around to talk about it then. Tuesday was their first opportunity to talk to me, and I get there too late for lots of people. But with me there early on Wednesday...
Crazy Cougar Receptionist asked me about a semi-security concern. I answered and advised her politely. People ask for my [on site] phone number, and then call to be escorted to their vehicles. Of course, I realize that part of that is because they want to talk, but I'm not also going to oggle and sexually harass them either, I think they realize.
One particular Barney-hating manager sent out an email to her department, saying he'd been dismissed (this isn't official, but maybe this manager has a source), and there was much jubilation amongst her staffers.
Indian Guy, who's been bugging me daily since this happened because he wants a party to celebrate my promotion (read: he wants me to buy him some free pizza) came by yesterday and so I got pizza for him, Buffalo Kisser, and myself. And we talked the good talk.
Oh, and I finally got some word from my Cookie Monster manager, who was away on vacation when all of this happened. Yes, I'm Site Supervisor. Yes, my payscale goes up. If I can pull it off and get what Barney was pulling, that'll be a 66.7% increase. Not bad.
And the reason that Barney explained to this manager about why he was removed?
"See, [site] is a publically traded company, since it was bought in May, and the board wasn't comfortable with a non-employee (Barney) knowing so much about them."
Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!
Want to know what it really was? Aside from the reams of complaints over the past several years that are resurfacing now that his manager buddy is gone?
He was trying to spy on people that were talking union, and report to some of the new managers from back east. Bad move.
You're not allowed to be obstructionist, not in that way. And what happens if anybody ever finds out? The company can be sued or worse. It's near-useless information.
And we're not (as guards) supposed to be doing that sort of nonsense.
His recent refusals to follow even simple orders, and his lack of popularity amongst critical (that he didn't recognise, it seems) individuals was just icing on the cake. G-g-g-GONE!
Ah well, my manager says that he wants to rewrite the site orders, and that he'll get Barney to help him. Nuh-UH!
I've already been revising them, with the input from the client, and he can just use those. Barney's input is not welcome with this client anymore, and besides, who's in charge here? We'll have to get this sorted out.
And isn't it nice to have the client's full support? ;)
Crazy Cougar Receptionist is up to her old tricks, I see. When she finished yesterday, she alarmed reception, where I go to my desk between patrols. In the year I've been there, that alarm has never been activated. She's just being a bitch.
I was writing in my notebook when I got the alarm call. When they told me where it was, I looked around and said "Well, I guess that would be me. I'm there now." Then I went out and looked at the keypad.
It's so unused, it's behind a plant. It's a miracle that I remembered the code, since I learned it on day one and have never had to use it. But that's no problem, because when you have access to the magnetic key system, you find that those you don't like sure have a hard time getting into the building or riding in the elevators.
But, of course, that would be wrong. ;)
I do have to talk to her, though. Apparently she's chatty/interrogating to the new guy in the morning just as he's trying to finish his report and leave. He told me last night that it's so bad, because he wants to be polite to her so he doesn't brush her off, that he screwed up his report and had to start from scratch.
And when you've been up all night and just want to get home, that's no good.
So I told him it was okay for him to tell her that he needs to get his stuff done, and can they continue this later?
But he's still a bit shy about asserting himself in something that's not clearly under the security portfolio. So I asked him if he wanted me to say something, and he said yes.
So I'm going to ask her to leave my guy alone while he's doing paperwork, and respect that he has things to do. She'd be pissed if people were bothering her while she's on the phone, after all. Same thing.
I'm sure it will go badly. Stay tuned. :P
Oh, and one of the employees at my site caught Buffalo Kisser sleeping in the exercise room downstairs when she went down there in the morning to do a bit of a workout. It was pitch dark at 0500, and she flicked on the lights and started to strip down to her workout togs. He was on a matress on the floor and sat bolt upright with a gasp.
He denied to her that he was sleeping, but I don't know who he thought he was fooling. What were you doing underground in the dark laying prone in total silence, meditating? Good luck with that.
But now he knows when she works out, so he oggles her through the window from outside. I'm going to have to put a stop to that too.
Sigh. Same job, whole different perception.
Oh! Remember the "Let mae tell you sumptin', mon! Thees is not China! Thees is not India! Thees is BOOOOOOOOLSHEET!" guy I mentioned briefly a couple of months ago? Here, I found it under Lunar Olympic officials continue search for missing pole vaulter.
Well, he was on the train when I was going home last night. He was making the rounds, sitting down and barking incoherently at people. He found a Coke can, which he picked up off the ground, crushed, and thoughtfully placed on a seat. He attempted to wipe up a stain he found with some plastic wrap.
And finally, it was my turn. He came over and sat across the aisle from me. The blast of alcohol fumes coming from him cleaned my pores to surgery standards, assuming I was having pore surgery.
What a strange thing to say. Anyway:
"Hey mon, what ees tha BOOK yar reading abOUT? Let mae HAVE eet!"
So I handed it to him while I gave a synopsis. He put up his hand and took out my bookmark, and attempted to read where I was. He didn't do very well.
He also twisted and bent my book in ways unlikely to let it maintain its "mint" rating. No matter.
Then he turned to the back where the "other books by this author" page is. He attempted to sound these out, then gave me back my book. He said "Do ya kno what MA book is?"
I told him I didn't.
He said "Isaac!" and crossed his arms.
"Well," I said, "this is my stop. Nice meeting you, have a good night."
It was his stop too. The station where I first saw him back in June. It was also the end of the line, at this time of night. So I got to ride the world's slowest elevator down to the street level with him.
He was muttering something about the cops always giving him a hard time, because he is a NEGRO. "Just like New Orleans!" he said.
"The cops hastle you because you're black? That can't be right." I said.
"No mon, the cops doan bother me." he said, as the doors opened and he went off to talk to a different group of strangers.
If he worked at my site, he wouldn't even be the worst guard there.
On the way, out of the corner of my eyes, I notice a bit more attention than usual, but it's at a distance.
Into reception I go, and Crazy Cougar Receptionist immediately whirls around with the strangest expression on her face and says "Hello!". Not full of enthusiasm like the exclamation point would indicate, but more startled.
Interesting. She never initiates a greeting with me.
I return it, and walk past over to my desk. I notice she's avidly tracking me, and when I sit down I see her eyes are big and she's staring. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was unsettled worry. I start reading a report.
CCR: "Is Barney coming back?"
Aha!
Rimmy: [not looking up from the report] "No, Barney's not coming back."
CCR: "Oh."
She continued to stare with those eyes at me. Something unexpected (to her) has happened, and she's unsure of things. Sucks to be her.
She's waiting for me to elaborate, but fuck her. If she wants to know more, she can ask. Which she won't, of course, because she doesn't want to betray her interest.
Now, remember how I said I noticed a bit more attention than usual while heading to my desk? During my first few rounds (before people headed home) I had people initiate conversations with me, and the ultimate thrust of most of them was "So... are you covering for Barney while he's on vacation?" or "Did Barney retire?".
So I answer. No, he's not retired. No, I'm not covering for him while he's on vacation, I'm here permanently. How wonderfully ironic is it that Barney, before he left, instructed me to tell people that he was "pursuing other opportunities" when they asked about him.
Poor Barney, he's never been an office worker although we work in an office. I don't think he knew that "pursuing other opportunities" is the euphemism for having your ass canned in the white collar cube farms. Ah well, not my problem, is it?
On Wednesday, I had to come in to work three hours earlier because a lot of the staff was off seeing some sort of motivational speaker. I had to start babysitting the nearly deserted building a bit earlier. No problem.
Interesting was seeing which people decided to play hookey from the speaker, and do some actual work. I tend to distrust the need to have someone else motivate you. If you get motivated by someone/something, that's great, but to try to artificially stimulate that by bringing in someone that's not from your industry, who's talking to the entire company at once... this mass-market concept of inspiration I find ludicrous.
Anyway, lots of the people (some of whom I used to see in the mornings, but who leave before I get there for 1600) stopped me to chat. And the Barney thing always came up.
And exactly what had been murmured by so many before is now being said aloud: "Thank God, that guy so slimy!" "I'm glad he's gone." "Congratulations, work will be a nicer place with you in his place." Well, that last one wasn't murmured before, but I snuck it in anyway. It's being said now, though. ;)
See, I guess word went through the place like wildfire on Friday, and with Monday being the stat, nobody was around to talk about it then. Tuesday was their first opportunity to talk to me, and I get there too late for lots of people. But with me there early on Wednesday...
Crazy Cougar Receptionist asked me about a semi-security concern. I answered and advised her politely. People ask for my [on site] phone number, and then call to be escorted to their vehicles. Of course, I realize that part of that is because they want to talk, but I'm not also going to oggle and sexually harass them either, I think they realize.
One particular Barney-hating manager sent out an email to her department, saying he'd been dismissed (this isn't official, but maybe this manager has a source), and there was much jubilation amongst her staffers.
Indian Guy, who's been bugging me daily since this happened because he wants a party to celebrate my promotion (read: he wants me to buy him some free pizza) came by yesterday and so I got pizza for him, Buffalo Kisser, and myself. And we talked the good talk.
Oh, and I finally got some word from my Cookie Monster manager, who was away on vacation when all of this happened. Yes, I'm Site Supervisor. Yes, my payscale goes up. If I can pull it off and get what Barney was pulling, that'll be a 66.7% increase. Not bad.
And the reason that Barney explained to this manager about why he was removed?
"See, [site] is a publically traded company, since it was bought in May, and the board wasn't comfortable with a non-employee (Barney) knowing so much about them."
Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!
Want to know what it really was? Aside from the reams of complaints over the past several years that are resurfacing now that his manager buddy is gone?
He was trying to spy on people that were talking union, and report to some of the new managers from back east. Bad move.
You're not allowed to be obstructionist, not in that way. And what happens if anybody ever finds out? The company can be sued or worse. It's near-useless information.
And we're not (as guards) supposed to be doing that sort of nonsense.
His recent refusals to follow even simple orders, and his lack of popularity amongst critical (that he didn't recognise, it seems) individuals was just icing on the cake. G-g-g-GONE!
Ah well, my manager says that he wants to rewrite the site orders, and that he'll get Barney to help him. Nuh-UH!
I've already been revising them, with the input from the client, and he can just use those. Barney's input is not welcome with this client anymore, and besides, who's in charge here? We'll have to get this sorted out.
And isn't it nice to have the client's full support? ;)
Crazy Cougar Receptionist is up to her old tricks, I see. When she finished yesterday, she alarmed reception, where I go to my desk between patrols. In the year I've been there, that alarm has never been activated. She's just being a bitch.
I was writing in my notebook when I got the alarm call. When they told me where it was, I looked around and said "Well, I guess that would be me. I'm there now." Then I went out and looked at the keypad.
It's so unused, it's behind a plant. It's a miracle that I remembered the code, since I learned it on day one and have never had to use it. But that's no problem, because when you have access to the magnetic key system, you find that those you don't like sure have a hard time getting into the building or riding in the elevators.
But, of course, that would be wrong. ;)
I do have to talk to her, though. Apparently she's chatty/interrogating to the new guy in the morning just as he's trying to finish his report and leave. He told me last night that it's so bad, because he wants to be polite to her so he doesn't brush her off, that he screwed up his report and had to start from scratch.
And when you've been up all night and just want to get home, that's no good.
So I told him it was okay for him to tell her that he needs to get his stuff done, and can they continue this later?
But he's still a bit shy about asserting himself in something that's not clearly under the security portfolio. So I asked him if he wanted me to say something, and he said yes.
So I'm going to ask her to leave my guy alone while he's doing paperwork, and respect that he has things to do. She'd be pissed if people were bothering her while she's on the phone, after all. Same thing.
I'm sure it will go badly. Stay tuned. :P
Oh, and one of the employees at my site caught Buffalo Kisser sleeping in the exercise room downstairs when she went down there in the morning to do a bit of a workout. It was pitch dark at 0500, and she flicked on the lights and started to strip down to her workout togs. He was on a matress on the floor and sat bolt upright with a gasp.
He denied to her that he was sleeping, but I don't know who he thought he was fooling. What were you doing underground in the dark laying prone in total silence, meditating? Good luck with that.
But now he knows when she works out, so he oggles her through the window from outside. I'm going to have to put a stop to that too.
Sigh. Same job, whole different perception.
Oh! Remember the "Let mae tell you sumptin', mon! Thees is not China! Thees is not India! Thees is BOOOOOOOOLSHEET!" guy I mentioned briefly a couple of months ago? Here, I found it under Lunar Olympic officials continue search for missing pole vaulter.
Well, he was on the train when I was going home last night. He was making the rounds, sitting down and barking incoherently at people. He found a Coke can, which he picked up off the ground, crushed, and thoughtfully placed on a seat. He attempted to wipe up a stain he found with some plastic wrap.
And finally, it was my turn. He came over and sat across the aisle from me. The blast of alcohol fumes coming from him cleaned my pores to surgery standards, assuming I was having pore surgery.
What a strange thing to say. Anyway:
"Hey mon, what ees tha BOOK yar reading abOUT? Let mae HAVE eet!"
So I handed it to him while I gave a synopsis. He put up his hand and took out my bookmark, and attempted to read where I was. He didn't do very well.
He also twisted and bent my book in ways unlikely to let it maintain its "mint" rating. No matter.
Then he turned to the back where the "other books by this author" page is. He attempted to sound these out, then gave me back my book. He said "Do ya kno what MA book is?"
I told him I didn't.
He said "Isaac!" and crossed his arms.
"Well," I said, "this is my stop. Nice meeting you, have a good night."
It was his stop too. The station where I first saw him back in June. It was also the end of the line, at this time of night. So I got to ride the world's slowest elevator down to the street level with him.
He was muttering something about the cops always giving him a hard time, because he is a NEGRO. "Just like New Orleans!" he said.
"The cops hastle you because you're black? That can't be right." I said.
"No mon, the cops doan bother me." he said, as the doors opened and he went off to talk to a different group of strangers.
If he worked at my site, he wouldn't even be the worst guard there.
posted by Rimmy at 11:28
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