An' I'm back y'all! An' I'm back y'all! An' I'm backety back and I'm BACK y'all!
Donald Rumsfeld is briefing President Bush one morning, and gives what he thinks is a better than usual casualty report: "Mr President, we lost three Brasillian soldiers in Iraq yesterday."
Dubya's jaw drops and his face grows ashen. Rummy is shocked, and asked the President what's wrong. Confused, Bush looks around at his advisors and replies:
"Well damn, Rummy, I may not be able to count that high, but I know even one brazillion is a lot of men."
What's it been, two weeks? I'll try to make this somewhat shorter than epic length. If you take longer to read this than it would take you to read Beowulf, I've failed in my endeavor.
A couple of weeks ago I went to see The Brothers Grimm with my mom. Afterwards we went out for coffee, and she informed me that she was once engaged to a guy named Ron McDonald.
You'll be pleased to know that not a single happy meal joke crossed my lips. Self control, baby!
Buffalo Kisser continues to think that I reported him as sleeping to his company, which I did not.
DiceGimp blames me for anybody finding out he was sleeping in the lobby of a busy building at 0700, despite me not being there and someone snapping a picture of him. Also, he's been washing money, and will probably get in some serious trouble after depositing and moving $37000 from overseas. Even he puzzled out that this might be illegal after that.
Crazy Cougar Receptionist has trained a couple of temps to cover her breaks and the ninth hour of reception, and she is unfailingly polite to me when they're around. Otherwise, she's a bitch.
My manager, Cookie Monster, has been an absolute ass on the phone to me. Telling me I'm not the supervisor, that I'm not to talk to anybody about anything, not to tell him about the site, because, and I quote:
Cookie Monster: "Don't think you know more about what's going on at that site than I do."
Rimmy: "I'm not, I just want to tell you about what happened the other day when ..."
Cookie Monster: "Because that would be a bad way to play it, mister."
Rimmy: "..."
That was the general tone of things, and it didn't get any better. He finally said that he was coming by on Monday (yesterday) and he'd set me straight on things.
He said this early last week, and it was sounding so bad on the phone (between this call and the last one) that I actually started making contingency plans in case I was abruptly removed from the site.
Not plans for me, but for the site. Nobody else is trained to do anything (I haven't been allowed to do that), I'm the only one who knows the locations and codes for various alarms and systems, and none of the other guys even know how the place works security-wise. This isn't good.
Even the employees at the site don't know it all, because the ones with the knowledge were the ones that were terminated in the last two "downsizings". So I was rushing to identify keys and codes and systems for the client.
Then the client's eyes and ears guy told me that the client wanted to talk to me, on the morning before I met with Cookie Monster.
Sigh.
I've never talked to her, and for her to request it is... unusual.
So I called, and what do you know? She's bright, polite, and a very good businesswoman.
She also didn't want to talk to me. She'd told the guy that if I wanted to call her, I could. Bah!
So I showed up at work and got in a full round before my boss showed up. And what do you know? He was a bit weird at the start, but as he didn't know me before, as we talked he relaxed somewhat. And his highly-compartmentalized "you don't need to know" attitude about things (quite proper in security, silly as it sounds) cracked and with minor details in his larger stories I confirmed/learned stuff that he probably shouldn't have been telling me.
He also attempted some smokescreens, but these were textbook examples and I identified them easily. Here's a little hint, dude: don't try to confuse me by throwing columns of numbers at me. I'll chew that shit up and spit out three colour graphs!
Okay, that sounded nerdy. My apologies.
Although he made a point of denying it, I knew he was surprised when the client called up and had Barney removed from the site and me installed in his place. Incidentally, that's been the only time the two of them have ever spoken, despite Cookie Monster saying he needs to have a meeting with for the past four months. Way to deal with the client, dingleberry.
Then a chunk of his semi-hostile behavior became clear. He looked at me and said "So what's your problem with The Sleeper?" Oh HO!
We had a problem between us back in the day, do you remember? I was forbidden to ask him how he was or what was going on at the site. Eventually I just kept my lips zipped when we had adjacent shifts, as it just wasn't worth having him freak out.
After a while, possibly because I wasn't giving him any opportunity to be a cantankerous bastard, he complained to Barney that I was ignoring him, and Barney got the two of us together in his presence to talk about it. I blogged about it at the time, but it's probably not worth combing back through the archives to find.
Anyway, after that we did fine - he wasn't a total ass (because he pretended not to be) and I pretended not to notice.
After I moved into Barney's position, The Sleeper apparently felt that since he'd been with the company longer he should be the guy in charge and making the big big money.
So he went to Cookie Monster, months after it was resolved (and he initiated the problem in the first place!) to say what a bad guy I was and that I did blah blah blah.
So when Cookie Monster asked me about it, I explained it in detail. I mentioned that The Sleeper pulls that on everybody, including the bike patrol guys and even my two latest guards have noticed it.
He nods, and appears to understand.
He also was astonished to find that I've never had an evaluation done. I also appeared to come across as not a total fucktard. So later this week I'll get notice on how much of a raise, and what specifically my supervisory roll will be at the site.
And then he'll talk to the client, and have to revise it as they want more than he'll probably offer. More authority, and more pay. For me! :D
Oh, and I got a call this morning from the client. It appears that during the night (Palooka's shift) someone ripped the door of the mailroom mostly out of the wall.
I called up Palooka, and he told me when he was last there (which I will confirm with the magnetic key records), but I personally think he tugged the door to check if it was locked and pulled too hard.
The door is brutally strong, but it's set into a false wall that isn't. Anybody could rip that door out with a little effort, and Palooka is a strong guy.
Speaking of the key records, I found that The Sleeper isn't doing his patrols. Poor bugger, he's just not going to last with us I'm afraid. ;)
Strange links:
No sex for you!
You know, I could swear there's some lip service paid to separation of church and state...
Man, I love what animals do.
Did he do it there, or bring it with him?
Leaving Brooklyn? Oy Vey!
Religion screws up society, so knock that shit off!
Go on, share that debit card with everybody!
Dubya's jaw drops and his face grows ashen. Rummy is shocked, and asked the President what's wrong. Confused, Bush looks around at his advisors and replies:
"Well damn, Rummy, I may not be able to count that high, but I know even one brazillion is a lot of men."
What's it been, two weeks? I'll try to make this somewhat shorter than epic length. If you take longer to read this than it would take you to read Beowulf, I've failed in my endeavor.
A couple of weeks ago I went to see The Brothers Grimm with my mom. Afterwards we went out for coffee, and she informed me that she was once engaged to a guy named Ron McDonald.
You'll be pleased to know that not a single happy meal joke crossed my lips. Self control, baby!
Buffalo Kisser continues to think that I reported him as sleeping to his company, which I did not.
DiceGimp blames me for anybody finding out he was sleeping in the lobby of a busy building at 0700, despite me not being there and someone snapping a picture of him. Also, he's been washing money, and will probably get in some serious trouble after depositing and moving $37000 from overseas. Even he puzzled out that this might be illegal after that.
Crazy Cougar Receptionist has trained a couple of temps to cover her breaks and the ninth hour of reception, and she is unfailingly polite to me when they're around. Otherwise, she's a bitch.
My manager, Cookie Monster, has been an absolute ass on the phone to me. Telling me I'm not the supervisor, that I'm not to talk to anybody about anything, not to tell him about the site, because, and I quote:
Cookie Monster: "Don't think you know more about what's going on at that site than I do."
Rimmy: "I'm not, I just want to tell you about what happened the other day when ..."
Cookie Monster: "Because that would be a bad way to play it, mister."
Rimmy: "..."
That was the general tone of things, and it didn't get any better. He finally said that he was coming by on Monday (yesterday) and he'd set me straight on things.
He said this early last week, and it was sounding so bad on the phone (between this call and the last one) that I actually started making contingency plans in case I was abruptly removed from the site.
Not plans for me, but for the site. Nobody else is trained to do anything (I haven't been allowed to do that), I'm the only one who knows the locations and codes for various alarms and systems, and none of the other guys even know how the place works security-wise. This isn't good.
Even the employees at the site don't know it all, because the ones with the knowledge were the ones that were terminated in the last two "downsizings". So I was rushing to identify keys and codes and systems for the client.
Then the client's eyes and ears guy told me that the client wanted to talk to me, on the morning before I met with Cookie Monster.
Sigh.
I've never talked to her, and for her to request it is... unusual.
So I called, and what do you know? She's bright, polite, and a very good businesswoman.
She also didn't want to talk to me. She'd told the guy that if I wanted to call her, I could. Bah!
So I showed up at work and got in a full round before my boss showed up. And what do you know? He was a bit weird at the start, but as he didn't know me before, as we talked he relaxed somewhat. And his highly-compartmentalized "you don't need to know" attitude about things (quite proper in security, silly as it sounds) cracked and with minor details in his larger stories I confirmed/learned stuff that he probably shouldn't have been telling me.
He also attempted some smokescreens, but these were textbook examples and I identified them easily. Here's a little hint, dude: don't try to confuse me by throwing columns of numbers at me. I'll chew that shit up and spit out three colour graphs!
Okay, that sounded nerdy. My apologies.
Although he made a point of denying it, I knew he was surprised when the client called up and had Barney removed from the site and me installed in his place. Incidentally, that's been the only time the two of them have ever spoken, despite Cookie Monster saying he needs to have a meeting with for the past four months. Way to deal with the client, dingleberry.
Then a chunk of his semi-hostile behavior became clear. He looked at me and said "So what's your problem with The Sleeper?" Oh HO!
We had a problem between us back in the day, do you remember? I was forbidden to ask him how he was or what was going on at the site. Eventually I just kept my lips zipped when we had adjacent shifts, as it just wasn't worth having him freak out.
After a while, possibly because I wasn't giving him any opportunity to be a cantankerous bastard, he complained to Barney that I was ignoring him, and Barney got the two of us together in his presence to talk about it. I blogged about it at the time, but it's probably not worth combing back through the archives to find.
Anyway, after that we did fine - he wasn't a total ass (because he pretended not to be) and I pretended not to notice.
After I moved into Barney's position, The Sleeper apparently felt that since he'd been with the company longer he should be the guy in charge and making the big big money.
So he went to Cookie Monster, months after it was resolved (and he initiated the problem in the first place!) to say what a bad guy I was and that I did blah blah blah.
So when Cookie Monster asked me about it, I explained it in detail. I mentioned that The Sleeper pulls that on everybody, including the bike patrol guys and even my two latest guards have noticed it.
He nods, and appears to understand.
He also was astonished to find that I've never had an evaluation done. I also appeared to come across as not a total fucktard. So later this week I'll get notice on how much of a raise, and what specifically my supervisory roll will be at the site.
And then he'll talk to the client, and have to revise it as they want more than he'll probably offer. More authority, and more pay. For me! :D
Oh, and I got a call this morning from the client. It appears that during the night (Palooka's shift) someone ripped the door of the mailroom mostly out of the wall.
I called up Palooka, and he told me when he was last there (which I will confirm with the magnetic key records), but I personally think he tugged the door to check if it was locked and pulled too hard.
The door is brutally strong, but it's set into a false wall that isn't. Anybody could rip that door out with a little effort, and Palooka is a strong guy.
Speaking of the key records, I found that The Sleeper isn't doing his patrols. Poor bugger, he's just not going to last with us I'm afraid. ;)
Strange links:
No sex for you!
You know, I could swear there's some lip service paid to separation of church and state...
Man, I love what animals do.
Did he do it there, or bring it with him?
Leaving Brooklyn? Oy Vey!
Religion screws up society, so knock that shit off!
Go on, share that debit card with everybody!
posted by Rimmy at 10:53
2 Comments:
Whatchu need...is RIMS
And they spinnin nigga dey spinnin!
Yo man, check it out!
I got some raisin toast over there sitting on 22's!
22's nigga!
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