Melchett: "Now there's another dirty word, `job'!"

So I got to talk to The Sleeper yesterday for the first time since Labour Day. It followed standard channels.

Rimmy: "Hi [The Sleeper]."

The Sleeper: "Hi."

Rimmy: "How are you?"

The familiar look and stiffening of his posture indicates his reflexive dislike for all normal questions directed at him.

The Sleeper: "I'm fine."

Then, at an unpredictable interval and with no prompting, he starts telling me about how some of the office furniture has been moved around in various suites.

Rimmy: "I know, I left that information for you on the note that's right in front of you, so you wouldn't be surprised when they came in unexpectedly."

He didn't like that I said "I know" - but I'm not actually sure what this guy does like.

Then, and now I'm wishing I hadn't, I decided to obliquely bring up what he'd said to Cookie Monster about me.

Rimmy: "So how are you, any problems or concerns?"

The look on his face was distaste and one step away from rage. I'm not kidding.

The Sleeper: "What do you mean?"

Rimmy: "Well, I was speaking to Cookie Monster last week, and he was asking me what the problem between you and I was. I wasn't aware we had a problem (cough choke ahem) so I was just inquiring whether the site, or me, was a concern for you."

Ah, there's the rage! Houston, we have liftoff!

The Sleeper: "What did he say?"

Rimmy: "Just what I told you, that he understood there to be a problem between us."

The Sleeper: "Well, you're going to have to take it up with Cookie Monster if you've heard this. It's not my problem."

Rimmy: "No no, I heard it from Cookie Monster. I'm just asking if there's a problem you want to tell me about between you and I, or about the site itself."

The Sleeper: [angrily] "I don't have a problem with the site."

Rimmy: "Okay. And with me?"

The Sleeper: "I don't have a problem with you, unless you keep interrogating me like this."

Rimmy: "Okay, that's good. I'm glad we've got this cleared up."

There's a pause as he's scribbling on his report, then unexpectedly he whirls and...

The Sleeper: "Let me tell you something - if I have a problem with someone I can tell them to their face. Anything I say to Cookie Monster is my business and nobody else's. End of conversation."

Rimmy: "I see."

The Sleeper: "What did Cookie Monster tell you?!"

Sigh.

Rimmy: "Just what I told you, that he understood there to be a problem between us." (Yes, I repeated myself verbatim)

There were a few more explosive statements from him, then

The Sleeper: "Okay Rimmy, have a good shift."

And out he goes. He's mindful that he is supposed to be nice, but he thinks that if he uses a rote phrase in every conversation, he can point back at it when he's called on the carpet about his behavior. At least, that's how it's been in the past.

The Sleeper: "No, there's no problem. I was polite and pleasant and wished him a good shift."

Random Imaginary Authority Figure: "Well, nobody who's the way you describe would wish you a nice shift, Mr. Rimmy. You need to find a way to get along with The Sleeper and not overreact."

:P

That was at the start of my shift. At the end of it, I got to bookmark the whole thing with another problem.

I had let Palooka into the building and was briefing him while I finished writing my report and changed out of my uniform. I heard someone knocking on the exterior doors. So I looked up.

There was a guy in the [bike patrol company]'s uniform waving to be let in.

Just so it's clear, there's a big lobby with glass doors (where the guard was), then our own enclosed reception area behind more locked glass doors. And we're behind the counter in there.

Pretty quickly I realized that this was the temporary guy they had last week, and that Palooka said he hated because the guy is a viciously sarcastic racist. And, being temporary, Evil Property Manager and his company don't have the three weeks or so it takes of constant nagging to issue an access card. Hence the knocking.

So I ignore it.

He's been here before, and we didn't let him in then. Certainly he didn't come expecting some other security company to grant him access, and he's got an in-line phone right outside the doors with a direct line to his own security company, which can radio his partner for the night (Buffalo Kisser) to come let him in. For that matter, Buffalo Kisser knew he was coming, why wasn't he there waiting for him?

So the knocking got louder. Pounding, actually. So I leaned into the light where he could see me (I'm possibly fifteen meters away, so the light was important) and mimed him using a phone, and then pointed beside him where it was. Sure enough, I saw him on the phone.

I went back to briefing Palooka and eventually Buffalo Kisser shows up and lets in the pounder. As he walked across the lobby, he glared at me and gave me a thumbs up. Whatever.

My ride was waiting for me (had been for fifteen minutes, and I hadn't even noticed until they phoned) so I finished up and headed out with Palooka as he usually walks me out, because then he can have a smoke before he starts his patrol. Although this time I think he wanted to see what the pounder would say to me as I passed him.

"Thanks!" he said irritably as we headed out. So I stopped and said "Hey dude, we're different companies and we do the interior area. Your company is the one that's charged by the property manager to do exteriors and entry to the building, and it would be overstepping our authority to be doing that."

"Thanks!" he said again. "No need to be like that," I said, "you had the direct line to security right there and a partner on site to let you in. We're not getting in trouble for you."

"Thanks!"

"Okay, be that way," I said and Palooka and I went out. Just before I left, I repeated the all-too-frequently mentioned mantra to him: "If you have any problems from them, just blame it on me".

And so home I went. My ride got me there so much earlier than I usually do, I didn't know what to do with myself. So I jumped on the computer and started surfing the news. Until I got a phone call.

Palooka: "Rimmy, it's Palooka."

Rimmy: "Hi, what's up?"

Palooka: "I went out of reception to do my next patrol, and I got outside to the lobby, and then I realized I'd left my keys and access behind in reception and I can't get in. I'm really sorry."

Rimmy: "Okay, sit tight and I'll get it sorted and call you right back."

Palooka: "Thanks Rimmy. I'm really sorry!"

Rimmy: "No worries, it happens to everybody."

So I hang up and call Operations. I identify myself and outline the problem and ask if any of the mobile units currently active has an access card to the building.

The on-duty supervisor runs it through the computer, and says he has no indication of mobile having such access. So I say that if he can have a mobile unit run by my place, I can give them mine to give to Palooka, he can get in, get his keys and access, and he can just leave my card where I usually have him lock the keys, and I'll get it the next day.

The guy confirms my address, and says he'll divert a mobile unit when he can. Then he says... "What time did you get off shift?"

"Zero hundred" I reply.

Operations: "Did you have an altercation with a [bike patrol company] guard?"

Jesus, Homer, and Jethro Christ.

Rimmy: "After a fashion. I take it he called."

Operations: "I have a complaint about you, yes."

Rimmy: "It went like this: he wanted into the building, but exterior access isn't our bailiwick - it's theirs. He had a partner on site, there was an exterior in-line phone that connected to his own company, and we're not responsible for their guards. And, to top it off, when I met with Cookie Monster last week, he mentioned them and said "We want them to fail." I didn't argue with him, I didn't get into it with him, I just said that it wasn't our responsibility. That's it."

Operations: "Well, that corroborates with what he said. As the supervisor on duty, I can tell you that you acted within the scope of your mandate and duty, and I see no reason to escalate this. I have to email a copy of my report for this to Cookie Monster as he's your manager, but as the "We want them to fail" sounds exactly like something he'd said, I have no problems believing that you were even following specific orders. But we're all clear as far as I'm concerned, and I see no problem here. If Cookie Monster wants to talk to you about it, he will."

Rimmy: "Ah good, I'm glad to hear I didn't do something wrong."

Operations: "Anytime Rimmy."

Rimmy: "And thanks for taking care of getting my guy back into his area."

Operations: "Hey, it's what I'm here for."

I call Palooka back and tell him that mobile will bring him my card, and that he'll just have to cool his heels until then. I also ask him if he got a lot of static from the two bike patrol guys.

He said that he did, that they both said I was a big asshole but that Buffalo Kisser told the pounder that Palooka was the good guy. When the pounder started to go off, Palooka apparently told him that we've got a policy and that I was the supervisor and what I said goes.

They both told him that he listens to me too much, and that he should have ignored me and let the pounder in. "I ignore my supervisor all the time, and look at me!" says Buffalo Kisser.

Yeah, I haven't filled a blog with Buffalo Kisser's exploits for the past year.

Palooka tells me he said, and I quote, "[the pounder]'s here for what, a week? And Buffalo Kisser, who knows how long you're going to be here? I have to work with Rimmy for the next year, or six months, or however long I'm here. It's really not a hard decision to figure out who I want to get along with more. Plus, I happen to think what he did was right."

What a guy. :) If it's true of course. :P

Apparently they were less interested in talking to him after that.

Eventually the mobile unit came by and picked up my card, and I phoned up Palooka to tell him it was on its way and just to note the time that he received the card in his report, so that the customer won't wonder why he hadn't patroled for an hour and a half.

Then I phoned up Operations and told them that mobile had picked up the card.

Then I called up the bike patrol guys' company and lodged my own complaint.

Interestingly enough, both the pounder and the woman in their Operations center that answered my call used to work for my company.

I outlined what had happened, including that he had complained to my company, and she said that he'd already called her twice tonight complaining about various things. I asked her if I was one of those things, and she said yes.

She also said that from the sounds of both of our stories, I was in the right and the other guy was way out of line. She wrote up her report, and then suggested that I call back in the morning to talk to the account manager for that site to let him know what was going on, as "we don't need that kind of unprofessionalism".

So I did. He didn't answer, but I left a voicemail. I'll be surprised if he calls me back, but I thumbnailed the story for him anyway.

This was just stupid. I hope the rest of the week isn't as lame as this.